Today was a really sad day for me. Just last night I have been expecting today to be a busy morning shift at work for me. As usual, I will be thinking what tomorrow holds for me everytime I'm lying down on my bed. I will kind of plan my day for tomorrow - what to do, what to expect. Kinda psychotic I know because it's sleeping time but I still think so much. And when things don't go my way, I may get annoyed and frustrated. Now I REALLY sound psychotic. Well...That's me. Haha!

Yesterday night was quite a drama. One of the patients in my ward in found unresponsive to call and with eyeballs uprolling. So we rushed to save him. Paged for the bloody doctor to come but he didn't turn up. Such a stupid and irresponsible S.O.B. He's not fit to be a doctor. If you are holding the bloody pager during that time, no matter even if it's one second or 2 miliseconds to your off duty time, YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBLITY TO ATTEND TO WARD CALLS!!! More so when there is an emergency here, doc. Go smoke yourself silly. I hate this kinda people the most.

That aside, we managed to grab the patient back from the gates of hell. Phew, I'm making us nurses sound like angels and saviours. For your information, there wasn't any doctor around at that time. Nurses did the job in salvaging the patient's life. Somehow, all of us know what holds for the patient. This is already the second time that he is found like this - not responding to call and almost, almost "pergi".

What makes me so sad is that our dear patient which we have been taking care of for weeks is not around anymore. It all happened during the night shift time (not my shift). A lot of questions were unanswered. How did she passed away? What was the cause of her condition to be this way? Life is really unpredictable. Even the most healthy-looking patient you see can go anytime. It's bizarre. But it is not up to us to answer the doubts of all these. Change is the only thing that is constant. And we cannot predict what will happen ahead of us. We can anticipate, but, sometimes I just feel so sad that things are not within our control. I am overwhelmed by all that is happening to me.

All I can do is nurse the patients under my care well. I really wish that medical personnels have the passion in them to SAVE, not like the heartless doctor.

Woke up at 8.30am this morning. No, I wasn't woken up by the sounds of plastic bags and cupboard door opening and closing. Instead, woke up by myself. I think I'm nuts already because I slept at 1am plus last night.

I should be tired like hell as last night I came back from work at freaking 10.40pm. Went to another ward to do a procedure. Was so hopeful that I will be able to do it right away but then some stupid SN went to put up another giant pint of Normal Saline irrigation bag. No chance for me to showcase my capabilities already. LOL! But then, after some persuasion with my "kesian face", I manage to talk the Charge Nurse into giving me a chance to get my much-needed signature. Told her I can write some incidental teaching for that procedure and guess what? She said yes!!! Yay! Haha. Only I'm capable of doing that. LOL!

I got an inspiration from KY's comments. I thought of making my own banner for my new blog layout. It will be great if anyone who's good in photoshop can help me. Eunice dear dear, help me la please? Hehe. I wonder if there are any of my friends who are good in photoshop. At times like these, I wish I'm XiaXue's god-sis or good friend. Then she can help me photoshop and edit my pics into a banner for my blog. So good right? *Dreaming away*

OK. I'm ending this post already. Pretty much run out of words because so much is on my mind. LOL! I'm so looking forward to tomorrow's concert. Will be going to the Hillsongs United concert at GTPJ tomorrow. Love going to gigs like these. I'm sure it will be a once in a lifetime moment.

K, peeps enjoy yourself and have fun in whatever you guys are doing. Loves...

Anyone good at CSS please do give me a hand in changing my blogskin. I want it to be of my favourite colours - pink, blue, yellow, green. Basically full of colours. But not those trashy kinds, if you know what I mean. Something that represents me will be good.

KY, I know you are good in this. *winks winks*

Eunice, you too.

So give me some ideas and suggestions alright? I'm an idiot when it comes to changing skins. Need your help, please please please...

Waking up at this hour. I hate being waked up when I'm just about to drift off to Dreamland. No thanks to a friend. But I forgive him because it's his birthday.

It has been weird. Something happened recently and it just made me wonder. Past memories crept back into my mind. Why do you come back and accuse me of something I didn't do. I don't even have to blog about it to remind me of it but I'm doing so because I just feel that you are worthless and has nothing better to do. Hope you will please stop bugging me as I want to move on. You should too.

That's exactly what I feel like doing now. Did something wrong in the ward just now. Feel so stupid and useless. I need antibiotics fast. I can't perform like my usual self.

Haih! Life sucks at times. There are days when I feel like kicking myself and whacking myself. How idiotic I can be at times.

Sorry for the emo-ness. I should be alright after a while. Sigh...Sigh...Sigh...

It's funny how things are like when you are working in a ward of 35 patients. You see all kinds of faces and wonder when you can go back. Yesterday was my first day posted to the ever-hated ward in my hospital. All students detests going to that ward because it is a very busy ward and it just has this image of "hell". LOL! OK, I'm exaggerating. But, after 5 weeks in a typically small ward of only 20 patients, I have to adapt to this BIG environment.

Was told off my a tomboy staffnurse who mentioned that I was blur. I was peeved. Never has anyone said I'm blur before at work. I do have blur moments but not until someone come up to me saying I'm blur and blah blah blah. The funny thing is, after saying I'm blur, she entrusted me with her work. I was told to write report when in less than half an hour is passing-over time. Really WTF. Quite geram with her because she keep asking me to do this and that. My another friend is practically having a relaxed time, shaking legs.

Then that staffnurse told me she don't trust my friend doing work because she said she is blur too. Plain laziness I would say. Excuses! Anyway, yesterday time passes quite easily.

The weather is so hot these days. Even I'm hit by the virus attack. Think I need to go see a doctor already. Antibiotics are the fastest way to get over cough and flu.

Kinda lazy thinking that I need to go to work later. Initially wanted to go see a doctor this morning. But then, after much thought, I decided to go after work. If not, it'll be quite bad to leave the ward on MC in such a short time.

To the people out there who reads my blog. Do take good care of yourself and don't end up like me.

My life may not be perfect,
But I'm in love with it every single second,
Life may not be a bed of roses,
As chronicles of ups and downs arise.

But I stood tall,
And stronger as I grow.
Life may not be that bad after all,
There are people worse off than me,
Who had to go without food, water and even shelter.

So I thank God for blessing me with what I have,
And be grateful that I get to breathe every single morning I wake up,
Thankful for the food and water I consume.

Yeah, I'm lovin' it...
My life...

I'm addicted to this song. Keep playing it over and over again. Like what I always do for a particular song that I like. Until I'm sick of it. LOL!

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Evelyn
21
1 May 1987

Coach
Juicy Couture
Prada
Holiday in Bali
Go to Paris before I die

eunice
kY
hui wen
xiaxue
kenny sia
cheesie

Designer: LiHua
Base Codes: Xinni
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Image done using Photoshop
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