Those words are what I have been telling myself in the course of this whirlwind 3 weeks. I can't wait to end this semester as it is full of ups and downs. The downs really get to me badly. The bickering and emotions in a turmoil goes on - but I am still hanging on, staying strong. Life goes on. No setbacks can tear me apart. That is what I told myself.

Eunice used to say that I am a person with strong personality and nothing, virtually, technically, realistically will get me down. I thought I am what she said too. But am I still? I wish I still am.

Because I need to hang on. Because I am a strong woman. Because life is not about giving in to some minor setbacks. Because life is worth living and I should make the best out of mine. I know what I want. I am a go-getter or in other words, "kiasu, kiasi". Nothing will ever get me down.

How many times have I repeated the same phrase? I lost count. I just want myself to get back on my own two feet again and be the once-strong, affirmative. I just need to get through this hurdle and the next 6 months will be OK once again. At least for a while.

Now, dear me, hang on, be strong. You can overcome this.

P/S: My junior asked me whether I get enough rest or not. She commented that I look tired. Which in other words, awful. Sigh!

Tagged by Eunice the Chicky Chick...lol

Really didn't realize you tagged me until yesterday...what a dumbo...lol...well well, connection is crappy as usual hence the late post yeah?

1. Temper Control Class (if it exist, and if it's free)

I believe those who know me well will agree with me if I attend this class because I have a really short "fuse" which means I blow up really fast. But at the same time, my temper also dissipates fast and before you know it, I have already forgotten about why I blew up in the first place. Yeah, yeah I know I'm weird, but hey, I'm just human OK? And humans make mistakes. And not to worry, I don't blow up at my patients THAT fast OK? It really depends on what the issue is about in the first place. If it's something which is against my principle and what I don't like, you will surely see my "Justice Bao" face. LOL!

2. Learning French

I have always loved how French speaks and I think it's really sexy to be able to speak in French. For those who have watched the movie "Shooter" and watched the very sexy Monica Bellucci speaking in French (even though when she speaks French in the movie, most of it are angry words) you will know what I mean.

3. Swimming Classes

Oh, now you got me. I can't swim or float at all for goodness' sake! If I ever drown, I urge you to PLEASE SAVE ME! And I know you will save me darling because when you were asked by me regarding the scenario of the "save me or your mum", you mentioned that you will save me because your mum knows how to swim -_-

I'm such a loser, I know.


4. Driving Class

I know it's weird for a 20-year-old to not know how to operate a car but please don't ask me why I didn't go for driving lessons when I was in Form 5. It's a long story and it's not a very pleasant story, for your information. Anyway, I kinda enjoy being driven around because nothing beats having your own "Ah Mat". Hehehe...

5. Yoga + Pilates Classes


Have always wanted to join one but never got around to doing that simply because:-

• No money
• Lazy
• Did I mention I have no money already?

But, once I start working already and have some spare cash, I will definitely take up this to stay slim. I don't wanna be a fat girl ever again. I was once one but rejoice! I'm now not fat (I don't wanna use the word thin because there will always be thinner girls around. I'd prefer to use the word S-L-I-M. Hehe...


Now, people, you have been tagged.

* Darling Kenny
* Kwang Ying
* Hui Wen

My last semester of my 3 years course started this Monday. Funny how most colleges and school started their lesson on the 2nd of January but my "one of a kind" college had lessons on 31st of December, holiday for 1st January and resumed classes on the 2nd January. That's one of the many things I hate about my college. People always have lots of brickbats at their own college, school or universities but holds high esteem for other schools. That's something quite common among people, I must say, whether you are a student or are in the working field. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Anyway, back to my semester. First day of class already and we received verbal advice from our teachers. An example of what she said goes like this,

"If you are the type who always ask your boyfriend to wait outside 4pm sharp, you better think twice and ask your boyfriend to forget about the idea. How can you be out when your group members are having a discussion on assignments and projects? This is your last year and don't think we are torturing you or making your life tough. Every group experience the same thing."

Phew! First day already make us scared and shocked. Really have no idea what the next 7 weeks are going to be like for us. Hopefully I don't lose my sanity.

And we thought the last year will be quite a breeze for us because we don't have much subjects to cover but man, I tell you, the subjects are the most boring of all. I begin to think twice already whether I should take up degree or not. We are given assignments almost every other day and the due date is so close together. Topics like "Critical Thinking" and reading the articles on it makes me want to doze off to dreamland and goodness knows what the articles is talking about. Luckily our group assignment is not rejected. Hopefully the coming assignments doesn't require me to fuse my grey matter so much that grey becomes white or vice versa. Personally I prefer to do assignments based on facts and science, less on the abstract.

One of my teachers mention that nurses are lucky because we learn management. We learn how to apply management skills in our work as well as in life. Hope it helps to manage my sanity too.

I seem to be suffering from insomnia these few days. No wonder my friend told me that my dark eye circles are more prominent now. I thought she was just joking. But it was otherwise.

I am generally a thinker. I think about everyday things. I think about the past. I think about the future. I think about things that make my mind boggle and make me think more and more. In short, my mind never sleeps. Only when I sleep, technically, literally. That is when I don’t have a dream.

I have been told before that I think too much and quite unnecessarily. But I find that it is not easy for me to change in a matter of days for something that has been my norm for so many years. I realized that I’m a “thinker” since I was in primary school. I am now 20 years old. Hmm, how long have I been a “thinker”? Quite long, I guess.

There was this patient I took care of in the ward I’m working in now. She had just undergone IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and suffers from quite bad medical condition such as ascites (fluid accumulation in the stomach region, medically called peritoneum). But at the same time she also suffers from dehydration because of the IVF. To make things worse, her husband is not the caring type, not one who stays by her side at all time throughout her predicament. My heart really goes out to her.

This got my mind working again. What if I cannot conceive normally in the future when I plan to have a child? Will me and my future husband afford to pay for an IVF which costs roughly RM 25 K? Will my husband stand by me through thick and thin? Will I even get married in the future? The list goes on and on.

It really baffles me to what humans do. Those who yearn to have babies pay so much for one but those who do not want babies find ways and means to abort them. This world is really unbecoming. Sometimes I wonder why God doesn’t create and give everyone the same – fair and square. But this got me thinking, everyone is indeed same, in the eyes of God. It is up to the individual’s angle of view – his or her perspective of life that decides how he or she wants to lead his or her life.

Now that is some food for thought.

Evelyn
21
1 May 1987

Coach
Juicy Couture
Prada
Holiday in Bali
Go to Paris before I die

eunice
kY
hui wen
xiaxue
kenny sia
cheesie

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