I really didn't want to put down the word "single" as the title so I opted for "mono" because somehow, I feel it is really a desperate attempt in getting a date/ guy. LOL! Yeah, I'm single once again. After been through two failed relationships, I'm certainly right on track and raring to go again. I'm NORMAL again!!! So, rejoice...

The loneliness and void feeling which creeps in me every night is now ceasing and I'm getting more peaceful and dreamless sleep. Speaking of dream, I really hate them as everytime I wake up from one, I can't help but get headaches and keep thinking about my dream. Just like what I had last week when I napped where I dreamed my two room-mates talking bad about me right in my face and had the hideous laughter as if like those of a hyena. I can't help but wonder will that really happen. I just hate this feeling. So I told my room-mates about my dream and they can only laugh. My room-mate said usually this kinda dream means the opposite in real life. Now, I'm relieved.

Back to the topic, I had the chance to get to know a few guys but as a very picky and choosy "user", I only will take into account those who fits the criteria. LOL! I really am a very picky huh? What to do, this is me. Actually I'm kinda loose with the criteria already. I still remember last time before I even have a bf I have a long list of requirements I like in a guy and another long list of things I hate in a guy. But now, I'm more mature and I've learned to lower down my expectations to something more practical and realistic.

Actually being single is not a bad thing after all. I get more me-time, can hang out with whoever I wanted and do whatever I like. There are really less restrictions and things-not-do now. But it also means I don't have someone who'll be there for me anytime I need one, I don't have a male version of "Aunt Agony", I have to pay for my own shoppings now (not that I've been using his money all along but plus-minus the phone bill, bus tickets to Singapore and expensive gifts I get for him, it's much more worth it now).

Nevertheless, I'm enjoying myself more now and is kinda happier lah....LOL!

Remember the movie starring Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly in which Russell Crowe portrays a real life schizophrenic Nobel Prize winner, Sir John Nash? As we were going to have our lectures on Mental Health, our tutor wanted us to watch this movie to gain a better understanding on the disease taught and to pinpoint out the signs and symptoms showed by the character.

In my humble opinion, I feel this movie is really good except for the part when ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) is being done on Nash. It is really nothing like what our tutor taught us. I mean, in the movie, they show Nash being strapped on the bed and given something like insulin before the procedure is started. The next thing I know is he's shaking like mad - like those of a fit or seizure attack. Whereas from what we learned, the patient on REAL ECT will not shake like that and actually the electricity being conducted to the patient is really mild and the patient is NOT GIVEN any insulin pre-procedure. LOL!

That aside, the signs and symptoms shown by Nash are really those of what we learnt - hallucination, delusion and more. I really can't forget the part where he has the hallucination and delusion of being involved in the national project where a "secret code" is being implanted into his arm. In the mental hospital, he wanted to destroy the "secret code" in his arm by digging into his arm until blood is oozing and what's ironic is he doesn't seem to show he's in pain!!! My goodness! He is really ill mentally!

So why am I talking about all these now? It is because I'll be going on a journey of a real-life John Nash counterparts adventure in a Psychiatric Hospital (GH) on Monday. I'll be there for a week there but sadly, Friday is a public holiday so in short, we are only there for 4 days. Sigh!! I was kinda disappointed but really hope the 4 days will broaden my knowledge field and I will benefit from it.

Feedbacks from my friends who went for the posting there this week were mixed. Some were saying it's scary, some said it's really sad to see them like that, some commented they were being "molested", some even received love letters. LOL!! Though it may sound really scary, I am actually quite looking forward to this posting as I wanna learn more and really observe the patients there. So, please pray hard for me that nothing will happen to me there and I will come back in one piece...

I shall quote something my Moral Studies lecturer said in class,

"No matter how clever and smart or intelligent a girl is, she'll still be a fool when falling in love."

I can't help but agree with him even though what he said in class I disagree 90% of the time. He's just a boring, stingy fellow who's still single. LOL!! OK, let's move on to the topic I'm writing about.

Let's put it this way, in the scenario of a guy and a girl in love:

Guy

what's running through his mind -
sex, kissing, French kissing, football, games, cars, money, porn, hot chicks....

Girl

what's going through her mind -
how to make him be with me for the rest of our life, how to tie him down, I'll do anything I can to make him love me forever even if it means sacrificing my life...

That's the difference between a guy and a girl. A girl will go all out for the man she loves even to the extent of sacrificing everything. Be it a straight A's high flyer or a smarty pants babe...Guess we are just fools for love...When will guys really take us seriously?

Things haven't been going right for me recently...Reasons being:
1. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years +.
2. I did my very best in an assignment but was told to redo it as a particular stupid-old bulldog face-menopausal nearing woman said I didn't put in effort in doing the case study.
3. I received negative remarks from some insensitive-obnoxious-poor upbringing women (again) regarding my performance in the wards where i slogged my guts out in.
4. I had my exam last week but I'm not sure whether I will do well or not as so much is running through my mind that I can't focus when I'm studying. God bless me...
5. I got so desperate and lonely and did weird things to get a guy's attention which is so not very myself...

Actually there's more to what I'm sad about but I really don't want to be reminded of it...Especially the first one...We shared so much together but I don't know why things turn out this way. We had so much plans together, so much of similarities together. In short we were so in love with each other. But I said enough is enough. He sms me the same old thing about how I failed in this relationship - how much he has done for me and how little I did for him. So I told him I want a break-up and we ended it right there.

Girl Facts

When a girl is angry, don't ask her what's wrong. Think of the answer yourself. A girl does not like to say the reason.

When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile.

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand.

When she wants a hug she will just stand there.

When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later.

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. (!!!)

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. (I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that.

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up, she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're one forever.

Guy Facts

When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you.

When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong.

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes, he means it.

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do.

When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world.

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love.

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you til your done.

When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else.

I'm a girl who is studying to be a nurse, currently in second year, which means I have less than a year to graduate, as it is a 3 years course. Life as a student nurse here really changed my whole perspective on what a nurse is really like. Before I came here, I have never given nursing as a profession much thought at all. I mean, who would have thought that nursing is not only about cleaning the humble faecal matter of other human beings and jabbing people in the butts every chance we have or even be in touch with blood every milisecond of our life? Certainly not what I intend to do for the whole of my life. But that changed as I grow every minute I am here like seeds carefully sown hoping that one day, it will be a beautiful, strong tree and able to withstand harsh weather for survival. I am indeed glad to be here and has since not look back on my life thinking "Maybe I really should not be here and chosen another path. This is so not me."

When my application for this course was successful and I was about to come here soon, my mother who hoped for me to be a teacher like her said to me, "Are you sure you really want to be a nurse? You have to clean people's backside and be on night duty. Are you sure you can take it?" My reply was I am good about it and really do not mind to take up a journey where I am about to discover another side of me unraveled. I am a girl who has always given myself surprises and like challenges as I think life is about getting up from a fall and showing to myself and others at how much I can achieve through effort and faith.

What is life without determination? It means nothing and all you get is just a futile life, waiting for God-knows-what to fall on you. I believe in choosing a journey where I may not know the outcome and consequences as to what will befall me but i trod on. I feel life is more meaningful and the joy i get for serving and nursing patients, making them feel better and more comfortable. Sickness and old age is inevitable. It is up to the individual and loved ones surrounding us to overcome the harsh facts of life and move on.

So what I have been doing as a routine in the wards where i went for training every now and then may bore normal people but i enjoy every moment of it though not always. Who haven't? Life is certainly looking bright and the learning journey is endless. All I can say is nursing changed me and I hope it changed yours too.

Evelyn
21
1 May 1987

Coach
Juicy Couture
Prada
Holiday in Bali
Go to Paris before I die

eunice
kY
hui wen
xiaxue
kenny sia
cheesie

Designer: LiHua
Base Codes: Xinni
BaseCodes
Photobucket
Image done using Photoshop
Please leave the credits alone, thanks [: