~tRiNiTy MeGaN~

Bad Bad Day

2008-08-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Today started off real bad for me. Woke up and got ready for work. When I wanted to leave for work, to my dismay, I found out that my ID tag is gone T__T

Damn frustrated. Along my way to work, walking with my friend, I keep blabbering where my tag went. But it's not gonna help to bring it back. Dah lah already so distressed about the ID tag thingy, I have to tag with this particular "great colleague" who, supposingly is more senior than me but does things "kelam-kabut-ly". As if that's not enough, another colleague of mine which is much more senior also can't give me peace at work. Really cannot tahan at times but I just stayed patient. What to do? I'm still very new and in Malaysia, there is such thing called hierarchy.

I hate that. Can't wait to get out of here and go to a place where ranking doesn't come out tops.

Being a nurse can really make someone lose weight. To those who wanna lose weight, join nursing. Be a nurse. Believe me, you CAN LOSE WEIGHT :D

OK, that's quite enough. Crappy post here. Guess I lost my ability to blog.

I Believe

2008-08-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

I Believe...

That just because two people argue,

It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over
The longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,

No matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.

Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

*Taken from here

2008-07-30T21:37:00.002+08:00

Truth Hurts...

Emotions...

What are humans without them? Have been thinking a lot lately. Not to say that I don't think a lot as always. I always have a lot of my mind. Not very good, I know.

Never understand why humans want to know the truth always but is afraid to face the consequences after knowing the real deal. I am one of those. I hate being lied upon. I hate people keeping things from me. But I have to admit that I'm a chicken when it comes to knowing truth. Because, truth hurts that much.

Some people may think that living in denial is much more comfortable. They don't have to think of what will happen when they know the truth. They are just lying to themselves that everything will be alright.

I am definitely not that kinda person. I want to know the truth. I demand to know everything. I don't want to live in denial.

But when the truth hits me, I am in pain. Really. Maybe I should just end this.

2008-07-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

Je t'aime plus qu'hier moins que demain

For you see, each day I love you more
Today more than yesterday
and less than tomorrow

- Rosemond Gerard

Whirlwind of a week

2008-07-17T11:20:00.002+08:00

Had a longggg day at work these few days. My hamstring muscles are chiding me for the tumultous time they had to go through. Running up and down the stairs. But I must say the torturous time are indeed a good workout. When was the last time I exercised? Hmm..That's a good question but I don't have the answer :P

That's not all. Going without food and water. Not even a millisecond can be spared for me to go pee. How bad is that? As if that's not worse enough, some people had to make me feel emo and mad over silly things. Maybe it's just me. Am I being too emotional and making a big fuss over small things? I don't know and I'm trying to find the answer as well. Hope it works out. Will talk it through.

So much has been happening to me until I feel I just want to take a break and I'm kinda regretting why in the first place I signed up for this. Why did I become a nurse T_T

But then again...

That's not stopping me from advancing in this field. I'm gonna stay strong and soon, all this will be just a phase. I will persevere and move on in order to make my dreams come true. I know I will and I know I can do it.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

"Stay" by Estrella

2008-07-17T11:18:00.000+08:00

Sound straight from the twilight
Has me up all night
I can't fall asleep 'cause I keep thinking of you
And I saw a shadow outside my window and it's you.

[Chorus]
All my sorrows flew away
Hush, keep quiet, hear me say
I don't ever want you to go
Please stay
With the moonlight dancing free
And there's no one but you and me
There's no reason to go astray
Please stay.

Making up a story
It's the way you're looking at me
If you think that this is funny, it's just you.

Try and think about it,
If you're heart is closed don't lock it,
Keep your keys back in your pocket,
Think this through.

[Chorus]

Please stay with me
Just stay with me
and I will take you to Foreverland
Just stay

Yay! New blog skin!

2008-07-06T11:02:00.001+08:00

Love this blog skin so much. Love the vintage feel that comes with it. Hearts <3 <3 <3

The Journey Begins...

2008-07-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

Hi there peeps...

Have been MIA for quite some time. Thanks to darling I'm now able to go online everyday. Hehe. Well, holidays are over and it's now time to face the reality of life - WORKING time begins!!!

Really feel quite touched that mummy did so much for me during the time I went back, though it wasn't long but it was really nice when mummy baked me a cake. cooked me what I wanted to eat, bought me this and that. Basically she was my "ah mat", fetching me to and fro whenever I want to go out. Didn't even go to Singapore (I forgot to bring my passport out when I came back -_-) or go down to JB. Just stayed at home and became a "guai guai lui". LOL! I ate so much at home and got fat. Sobz! Miss the days when I had one of those small little tiff with my younger sis. Don't know when I'll have the chance to go back again but I promised mummy I will come back more often. Must keep my promise. Love my family so much. I think the 3 years I am here really changed me a lot. I have become someone who treasures bond - be it with family or friends. And I have grown much more mature in the sense that I see things from a different perspective. Have also learnt to let go and not holding on to something which wasn't mine in the first place, forgive and forget.

Came back a few days earlier to KL to spend time with The One. Hehe! Guess I don't need to spell it out for all those who already know who is "The One". Had a great time and thank you so much for everything darling. Have never gone on a holiday for such a long, long time. Love you dear :) Though things may not go the right way for me but with you around, you always make things right again. Thanks for being such a great listener and being there for me when I really need someone.

I uploaded some of the pics I took while I was on holiday in Friendster. Quite lazy to post pics up now. Somehow I feel I have lost the ability to blog like before. Maybe because I have found someone who listens to me a lot. Maybe because I have relinquish the bond with my dear friends who I have neglected before in the past. Maybe because I just feel so comfortable talking to people rather than typing it out now. Is that a good or bad thing? You be the judge.

3 Little Words

2008-06-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

You answered all my doubts. Cleared my mind when it is in a turmoil. Loved it when you treat me with such TLC. You don't show it much physically but I know you meant it when you said it. Loved the time in the cinema. Feel so warm inside yet so freaking cold in the cinema because you're with me.

Thanks dear for being there for me. Thanks for the 3 little words.

<3

Challenge

2008-06-21T11:25:00.002+08:00

This is dedicated to myself. To remind myself that whatever comes along the way, I'll take it as a challenge and learning experience.

Be strong. I know you can do it.

Two Kids

2008-06-20T08:56:00.004+08:00

Were at 7-11 just now. Went to buy chocolate milk as I was still full from tea. So went to the refrigerator section to browse at the choices of beverage as usual, when two Indian kids in school uniform came up to me. The conversation is as follows.

K 1(Kid) : Sister, are you working here?
Me : No.

After I answered them, they were like hesitating, pushing each other, speaking in Tamil, like up to something no good.

So I asked them.

Me : Why?
K 1 : My friend lost her money just now. Do you have rm 2? (with very fake face can?)
Me : NO!

PLEASE LAH!

You lost your money why come to me? Go tell your mummy or daddy lah. I'm not your mum, for goodness' sake!

In my opinion, I think kids these days are very daring. If we don't teach them from young, this will carry on until they grow older. Very obviously they are discussing something in Tamil, which I don't understand but I'm not about to be cheated by them. It may be just RM 2, but just think. Can you guarantee they will not ask for more as they grow older and getting more bolder in begging people for money?

Just something to share with you peeps out there. Anyone with similar kinda stories wanna share?

Cupid's got a hold on me

2008-06-08T23:53:00.003+08:00

Hi peeps! I'm now blogging from Piccadilly's. Been bunking over at Eunice's these two days. So I have the chance to go online, doing what I love doing the best - browsing clothes blog, chatting on MSN and blog hopping, laughing at silly jokes.

What has been happening in my life? So far so good. I have moved out from the jail I used to stay in for 3 years. Hehe. Freedom for me now. No more curfews. No more rules. No more college food. Yahoo! It must be bliss for me. But I'm kinda missing life staying in the hostel a little. Not to say that I'm sad I moved out from there but, well, humans do have feelings. Sure will miss old times a little one mah. LOL!

I have done with shifting out but my stuffs are still lying down on the floor and boxes. Especially my clothes. Only when I'm shifting I realize I have THAT MUCH of clothes. My goodness, I should take some pics of the clothes I have and let you guys have a look at how much clothes I have got (Note: I used the term "much" not "many", which in other words means I have uncountable clothes). I hope my mum is not reading this post now cos she will definitely kill me for knowing where my allowance goes to. LOL!

Thanks to Chicky Eunice that I haven't manage to arrange my things in order. I'm making her come over this Wednesday to help me arrange my stuffs. Free labour. Buahaha..Evil me. They don't call me Evil-yn for nothing. LOL!

Alright I need to go off now. Just a short little post before I go. Eunice must be chiding me in her room now cos she went up earlier than me. Take care all you people. Much love...

Sad, Sad Day

2008-05-30T16:02:00.003+08:00

Today was a really sad day for me. Just last night I have been expecting today to be a busy morning shift at work for me. As usual, I will be thinking what tomorrow holds for me everytime I'm lying down on my bed. I will kind of plan my day for tomorrow - what to do, what to expect. Kinda psychotic I know because it's sleeping time but I still think so much. And when things don't go my way, I may get annoyed and frustrated. Now I REALLY sound psychotic. Well...That's me. Haha!

Yesterday night was quite a drama. One of the patients in my ward in found unresponsive to call and with eyeballs uprolling. So we rushed to save him. Paged for the bloody doctor to come but he didn't turn up. Such a stupid and irresponsible S.O.B. He's not fit to be a doctor. If you are holding the bloody pager during that time, no matter even if it's one second or 2 miliseconds to your off duty time, YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBLITY TO ATTEND TO WARD CALLS!!! More so when there is an emergency here, doc. Go smoke yourself silly. I hate this kinda people the most.

That aside, we managed to grab the patient back from the gates of hell. Phew, I'm making us nurses sound like angels and saviours. For your information, there wasn't any doctor around at that time. Nurses did the job in salvaging the patient's life. Somehow, all of us know what holds for the patient. This is already the second time that he is found like this - not responding to call and almost, almost "pergi".

What makes me so sad is that our dear patient which we have been taking care of for weeks is not around anymore. It all happened during the night shift time (not my shift). A lot of questions were unanswered. How did she passed away? What was the cause of her condition to be this way? Life is really unpredictable. Even the most healthy-looking patient you see can go anytime. It's bizarre. But it is not up to us to answer the doubts of all these. Change is the only thing that is constant. And we cannot predict what will happen ahead of us. We can anticipate, but, sometimes I just feel so sad that things are not within our control. I am overwhelmed by all that is happening to me.

All I can do is nurse the patients under my care well. I really wish that medical personnels have the passion in them to SAVE, not like the heartless doctor.

Early Morning...

2008-05-27T10:10:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 8.30am this morning. No, I wasn't woken up by the sounds of plastic bags and cupboard door opening and closing. Instead, woke up by myself. I think I'm nuts already because I slept at 1am plus last night.

I should be tired like hell as last night I came back from work at freaking 10.40pm. Went to another ward to do a procedure. Was so hopeful that I will be able to do it right away but then some stupid SN went to put up another giant pint of Normal Saline irrigation bag. No chance for me to showcase my capabilities already. LOL! But then, after some persuasion with my "kesian face", I manage to talk the Charge Nurse into giving me a chance to get my much-needed signature. Told her I can write some incidental teaching for that procedure and guess what? She said yes!!! Yay! Haha. Only I'm capable of doing that. LOL!

I got an inspiration from KY's comments. I thought of making my own banner for my new blog layout. It will be great if anyone who's good in photoshop can help me. Eunice dear dear, help me la please? Hehe. I wonder if there are any of my friends who are good in photoshop. At times like these, I wish I'm XiaXue's god-sis or good friend. Then she can help me photoshop and edit my pics into a banner for my blog. So good right? *Dreaming away*

OK. I'm ending this post already. Pretty much run out of words because so much is on my mind. LOL! I'm so looking forward to tomorrow's concert. Will be going to the Hillsongs United concert at GTPJ tomorrow. Love going to gigs like these. I'm sure it will be a once in a lifetime moment.

K, peeps enjoy yourself and have fun in whatever you guys are doing. Loves...

Marie Digby - Say It Again - World Premiere Video (HQ)

2008-05-25T17:19:00.001+08:00

I'm sure you music lovers have heard of this fantastic voice of a girl named Marie Digby (pronounced as MA-REE-AY). Marie found fame when she did an acoustic version of Rihanna's Umbrella.

I'm totally hooked on her songs. Say It Again, Stupid For You, Spell. Just love her to bits. She plays her own instruments (piano and guitar) too. Multi-talented I must say. Gonna get her album soon.

Marie owes her dolly-girl looks (don't you think she looks like a doll?) to her parents who are of different races. Born to a Japanese mother and Irish-American father, Marie started writing and singing at an early age. I just think she looks hot. And I'm not a lesbian for saying that. LOL!

OK. I'm ending this post with my favourite song from her album, Say It Again. Enjoy!

I Need Help...

2008-05-25T11:53:00.003+08:00

Anyone good at CSS please do give me a hand in changing my blogskin. I want it to be of my favourite colours - pink, blue, yellow, green. Basically full of colours. But not those trashy kinds, if you know what I mean. Something that represents me will be good.

KY, I know you are good in this. *winks winks*

Eunice, you too.

So give me some ideas and suggestions alright? I'm an idiot when it comes to changing skins. Need your help, please please please...

At This Hour?

2008-05-25T02:02:00.001+08:00

Waking up at this hour. I hate being waked up when I'm just about to drift off to Dreamland. No thanks to a friend. But I forgive him because it's his birthday.

It has been weird. Something happened recently and it just made me wonder. Past memories crept back into my mind. Why do you come back and accuse me of something I didn't do. I don't even have to blog about it to remind me of it but I'm doing so because I just feel that you are worthless and has nothing better to do. Hope you will please stop bugging me as I want to move on. You should too.

Chu Dian - S.H.E

2008-05-23T13:00:00.001+08:00

Heart this song. A bit old but still nice :)

And, got your message, girl! :P

I wish I can bury my head in a hole...

2008-05-20T15:51:00.002+08:00

That's exactly what I feel like doing now. Did something wrong in the ward just now. Feel so stupid and useless. I need antibiotics fast. I can't perform like my usual self.

Haih! Life sucks at times. There are days when I feel like kicking myself and whacking myself. How idiotic I can be at times.

Sorry for the emo-ness. I should be alright after a while. Sigh...Sigh...Sigh...

Untitled...

2008-05-19T11:57:00.002+08:00

It's funny how things are like when you are working in a ward of 35 patients. You see all kinds of faces and wonder when you can go back. Yesterday was my first day posted to the ever-hated ward in my hospital. All students detests going to that ward because it is a very busy ward and it just has this image of "hell". LOL! OK, I'm exaggerating. But, after 5 weeks in a typically small ward of only 20 patients, I have to adapt to this BIG environment.

Was told off my a tomboy staffnurse who mentioned that I was blur. I was peeved. Never has anyone said I'm blur before at work. I do have blur moments but not until someone come up to me saying I'm blur and blah blah blah. The funny thing is, after saying I'm blur, she entrusted me with her work. I was told to write report when in less than half an hour is passing-over time. Really WTF. Quite geram with her because she keep asking me to do this and that. My another friend is practically having a relaxed time, shaking legs.

Then that staffnurse told me she don't trust my friend doing work because she said she is blur too. Plain laziness I would say. Excuses! Anyway, yesterday time passes quite easily.

The weather is so hot these days. Even I'm hit by the virus attack. Think I need to go see a doctor already. Antibiotics are the fastest way to get over cough and flu.

Kinda lazy thinking that I need to go to work later. Initially wanted to go see a doctor this morning. But then, after much thought, I decided to go after work. If not, it'll be quite bad to leave the ward on MC in such a short time.

To the people out there who reads my blog. Do take good care of yourself and don't end up like me.

Lovin' It...

2008-05-07T10:30:00.003+08:00

My life may not be perfect,
But I'm in love with it every single second,
Life may not be a bed of roses,
As chronicles of ups and downs arise.

But I stood tall,
And stronger as I grow.
Life may not be that bad after all,
There are people worse off than me,
Who had to go without food, water and even shelter.

So I thank God for blessing me with what I have,
And be grateful that I get to breathe every single morning I wake up,
Thankful for the food and water I consume.

Yeah, I'm lovin' it...
My life...

Bleeding Love

2008-05-04T16:01:00.002+08:00

I'm addicted to this song. Keep playing it over and over again. Like what I always do for a particular song that I like. Until I'm sick of it. LOL!

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

The Turning Point

2008-04-30T16:03:00.003+08:00

The clock is ticking away...I'm gonna turn 21 soon. Man, I feel old.

Feels like just yesterday when I stepped into this college and study. Were so young then. 18 years old. Now, almost graduating, and almost 21 in less than 24 hours. Sigh!

Anyway, hope I will have a fun time tomorrow. It's girl's day out. I so wanna try the Kenko Fish Spa but apparently I have to wait until next month before I can try it. So excited. Can't wait for the little fishes and big fishes to come nibble at my feet. LOL!

Was at Midvalley yesterday and saw a cute guy modelling for Bata. Saw Daphne Iking emcee-ing for the fashion show. That guy is cuuute...Drools...

Tired from work. Need a rest now. Bye!

Cialis...anyone?

2008-04-28T16:25:00.002+08:00

I can't believe a young man aged 26 years old took pills for ED for fun. What is the world coming to? And what's weirder is that he had these one of a kinda adverse reactions, which according to the doctor, is uncommon. We had to check his blood sugar every half an hour and if that's not enough, we have to give him 60 mls of Dextrose 50% intravenously if his blood sugar is lower than 5mmol/l. And his blood sugar never reaches above 5mmol/l.

For those who do not know what Dextrose 50% is - it's actually glucose, a very concentrated type which is usually given to diabetic patients who go hypo. It will raise blood sugar very fast but it is also very, very painful. So you can imagine how "Mr. Cialis" react to when we were about to inject these very concentrated liquid into his veins. Poor thing? I say, serves him right for taking two of those pills. Some of my colleagues were speculating maybe he really has ED. Well, get treatment instead of taking pills for fun, dude.

OK. Quite speechless now. Will blog when I have something on my mind. And when I have the mood to. LOL!

P/S: My favourite doctor, Dr. KK has a patient in my ward. I'M SO EXHILARATED. At long last. Waited so long for him to arrive. Though I didn't get to follow him but I saw him when I went to fetch a patient from OT just now. He's so damn cute and charming.

Over Her Dead Body

2008-04-24T10:41:00.003+08:00

Was supposed to go for Karaoke with my friends but it was cancelled due to "unforeseen circumstances". Anyhow, I went to watch a movie with a friend of mine. Thanks so much for being such a sweetie accompanying me, dear! How I wished I was "muka tembok" enough to take pics with the cute blonde hunk model for Che Che New York. Haih! Never did. Never was thick-skinned enough for this kinda thing.

This movie is fantastic. It's hilarious. At first, I didn't think it would be worth it for the RM7 I paid for but I was proven wrong. I'm gonna ask my sister to download it and I plan to watch it again. Eva Longoria is funny as usual in the movie and I noticed she only wear white in it. Hehe. Don't get what I'm trying to say? Go watch the movie yourself and find out. Oh yeah, did I mention that Paul Rudd is so good-looking in this movie? I first fell in love with him in one of his movies, kinda like this genre (forgot what name already). Jason Biggs is funny weh, I tell you. I remember him being the main character in American Pie. I love that movie too because it's so funny. You should have seen how I laughed in the cinema. LOL! Loved the curls of the psychic in the movie too - Ashley. Don't know what's her real name though. Wished I had curls like her but I know how hard it is to maintain curls so I may have to think twice before curling my hair again.

Next up, I wanna watch Fool's Gold. Matthew McConnaughey and Kate Hudson is a pair! My, it's a handful trying to spell Matt's name. But I got it right, I suppose. Correct me if I'm wrong. Haven't watched Street Kings yet but seems that almost all my friends have watched it already. Maybe I'll just watch the download version of it. Love Keanu Reeves. He's my ultimate fave actor of all time (thus the name of my blog, it's actually inspired by The Matrix).

I noticed that Kenko Fish Spa has opened up a new outlet in MidValley. Anyone daring enough to try it out with me? I have already for two in my list. More to come, please. Time to feed the fishes and prettify your feets. I just want to try it out and experience for myself what it is like. Maybe on my birthday? Oh my, I'm getting old. Haih! Another year older but do I look like I have grown up? Maybe physically but mentally, I hope I am. LOL!

Alrighty. This post is getting kinda long for me talking about crap. Will blog again from time to time. I'm kinda in the mood to blog these days. Hehe! Keep "tuning" in. Bye!!! Have fun and for those still having exams, good luck and do you best!!!

Muacks...

When We Risk It All

2008-04-22T11:02:00.003+08:00

Was in Popular the other day and browse through some books. Came upon this lovely poem which I think suits my mood at that time. Just for sharing with you guys and gals.

We can't blame others when love dwindles away -
For we know from the start it never promised to stay.

It's just one of those things where the stakes are high -
And sometimes it's forever, and sometimes it's good-bye.

When you love the right way, you will never lose -
No matter what path life may force you to choose.

You may end up with tears or a broken heart -
But you know what you signed up for from the start.

You can only give what you've got to give -
And if that's not enough, then you must continue to live.

Life will go on and broken hearts will heal -
You must continue on your quest, for that's the deal.

Throw you heart into life and never stall -
For the greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.

You see, love is the only thing that we know -
That can be divided and divided but continue to grow.

And life isn't long enough to lock away our heart -
Just because life may have forced two people apart.

We will continue to love and continue to lose -
We will continue to pick and continue to choose.

And then one day we will just risk it all -
Take the chains off our hearts and dismantle the wall.

The last time we love will be the forever -
And never again will our hearts be forced to sever.

We'll never have doubts that it'll go away -
Because this time, it'll be here to stay.

But until then we must endure all the pain -
For we only see sunshine if we can wait through the rain.

P/S: Meaningful isn't it? Any guesses where I got this from? :P

F.u.S.s.Y

2008-04-18T18:01:00.002+08:00

This post is dedicated to the complaint which I just got from the ward. To dear Mr. Vomit Blood and Specky Wife:

F = F***ing

U = Understand that the ward is busy at times and you are not the only patient we attend to,

S = So, please be considerative that,

S = Sometimes mistake does happen and I hope

Y = You don't vomit blood anymore.

Many thanks.

Q & A

2008-04-16T20:41:00.002+08:00

1.Why did you stop loving the last person you loved?
:: because he gave me up and broke my heart

2. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heartbroken?
:: heartbreaker twice. heartbroken once. but my heart is broken too when im the heartbreaker. lol

3. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
:: nestle low fat strawberry yoghurt drink

4. Name a quote from the song you are listening to?
:: "release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin"

5. How is life going for you right now?
:: it's OK i guess. busy. hypo. sore legs. dark eye circles. eye bags. 'nuff said.

6. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
:: yeah.

7. Who was the last person to comment you?
:: eunice

8. Regret(s)?
:: yes and no

9. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
:: "you go first"

10. Do you have a best friend?
:: yeah

11. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
:: yes..

12. What do you think of people who have sex before marriage?
:: no comments. to each his/her own

13. Do you own a pair of green pants?
:: no

14. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
:: yes definitely!

15. What is your favorite fruit?
:: mango

16. What is the last song to make you cry?
:: bei ban - gary chao

17. Is your best friend pretty/handsome?
:: she's pretty and cute

18. Have you ever passed out?
:: nope. but i nearly did

19. Do you trust people easily?
:: yeah..my weakness

20. When was the last time you cried?!
:: the day i heard that song i mentioned..

21. What's the thing that always gets you through the day?
:: God, family and friends

22. Who do you miss?
:: family and friends who i have not met for long

23. Do you give out second chances too easily?
:: yeah. i guess i do..

24. Where was your last car ride to and from?
:: dun remember...too long didnt go out..

25. Where is one place you want to visit?
:: Paris

26. Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hugging u?
:: if it's a hunk, anytime :P

27. Do you believe in revenge?
:: sometimes, during impulsive moments.

Of doctors, patients and hypo nurses...

2008-04-16T18:38:00.002+08:00

Hey all!!! It's been so long since I last blogged. Worry not. I'm back. Alive and kicking. Nothing will ever get me down.

Management has just started for me a few days back. I must say that the 3 days that passed were a whirlwind indeed. Doctor screaming over the phone when I called, confused patients who can smile at you for a second and another second whack you and also patients who seem perfectly fine and alright found unconscious in the bathroom. Seriously. Was. A. Rollercoaster. Ride.

Did I even mention that it was just 3 days in the ward? Our management posting is 4 weeks. I still have 3 weeks and a half to go. Good luck to myself! LOL!

I really think my weight is about to yo-yo during these 4 weeks. It gets so busy that I don't even have time to pee or eat or drink. My goodness, have I mention also that some doctors are really sickening and moody and scold us for no reason? But of course, there are also doctors that are oh-so-kind I feel like going to their house and have tea with their family. LOL!

Patients. All sorts of them. Confused ones are really hard to tackle especially when they get violent. You have to protect yourself then. I have a junior who got kicked in the stomach because of one old patient who is confused at night. The funny thing is, that old patient is perfectly normal during day time. Only during the night all hell breaks loose -_-'''

I really can't stand those of my so-called friends who are working in the same ward as me. Where are you when the freaking call bell rings? All seriously don't know hiding in which hole in the earth and taking their own sweet time to do things. Please be conscientious. You are a nurse too, you should always help out. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

OK! This is getting so emo already and I think I should stop. I'm thinking of getting a new haircut. What should it be like this time around? Hehe...Watch out and see...

To those having exams, I wish you guys the best of luck penning your answers away and happy shooting for those objective questions :p

Take care! Loves...

Urgh....

2008-04-06T16:40:00.002+08:00

Any cure for period cramps? No Ponstan please because it makes period flow lesser.

Have tried Buscopan which is good for spasms. Period cramps = uterus contractions = spasm

But, the effect worn off after a while...

Now, if someone else knows a good cure for cramps, do email me at velyneve@gmail.com or text me.

Thanks.

p/s : hate being a woman at times -_-

It's Been A Week

2008-03-27T22:29:00.002+08:00

Let us see how this gal fare during this ordeal of a time she went through. It's been a week! And she is surviving it and getting stronger. First of all, she would like to thank all those who cares and were there for her throughout.

1. She has regained her appetite slowly, but stomach problems still persist though. Not major ones, minor ones such as flatulence and on-off nausea.

2. She smiles, laughs, jokes and is slowly becoming her usual bubbly and crazy self. Friends who are in the dark of this ordeal didn't realize that she had a break up.

3. She sleeps better now but dreams still come knocking on her door every other time.

4. She chats with people not just about emotional stuffs but about other stuffs such as exams and funny things.

5. Finally, she has learnt to let go and move on.

Bravo to her!!! Put your hands together for her!!!

P/S: I wanna watch 27 Dresses. Anyone wanna date me?

P/P/S: Wifi expiring soon so which means I won't be able to update this blog often. Don't know when will be online again but I hope not too long for sure!

Finals

2008-03-24T13:19:00.002+08:00

Here comes the part of my tedious and super-intensive 3 years course. Finals is coming in 3 weeks!!!

And as if that is not worse enough, practical exam is next Monday! I have always been scared and super nervous about practical exam. It is conducted whereby we are given 5 minutes to complete a certain nursing procedure, for example, injection. I always get the jitters especially when some fierce-looking examiner is looking at me and scrutinizing my every steps and it doesn't help when my hands shake and my legs feel like jelly. LOL!

I'm quite worried as I feel we don't have sufficient time to practice all the procedures learnt in 3 years. Where got time to practice enough? I hope I will pass. Keeping fingers crossed...

This 3 weeks is very important because most of us don't study. Haihz! Anyway, Ms. Ngu told us something really encouraging which is if we get the concept right, we don't have to study like mad. Hehehe...

That is what I do.

Wish me luck people...

Shattered...But not broken

2008-03-21T23:56:00.001+08:00

I may be heartbroken but I will pick up the pieces and move on. I know I'm strong enough for this.

Thanks to all those who cared. I will move on...

Taking a Break

2008-03-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

To all those who cared, I am officially taking a break...

Apparently, you don't like to be tied down but you claimed you do.

And, you claimed you know how needy I am but you do not do what you are supposed to, even though you tried.

I can't help but feel that you are playing with my feelings.

You don't like me viewing clothes blog but you still let me to.

You don't like me being emotional but when I wanna fix things, you do not respond.

But I can forgo all that....I can change for your sake. You don't like me doing this, I won't do. But why do you have to lead me on? Especially at this time. I have exams too, not just you.

Is It Over?

2008-03-20T20:28:00.004+08:00

No tears...but tears well in my eyes

The last time I remember myself crying so badly is when someone hurts me pretty badly...

This time, my gut feeling told me that it's not looking good. All negative thoughts come to me and I am really very foolish to be this way.

However, I still am keeping my fingers crossed. I hope the faint glimmer of hope and positiveness will be bright again even with this turmoil.

Thanks to all those who have called me and offer advice and words of comfort. Love you guys and gals!!!

Holidays Over...

2008-02-14T14:22:00.006+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!

Time really flies...CNY holidays are over and done with. Now it's back to a week of studies and preparation for the long-awaited Judgement Day - the day where our one month's effort wil be tested on and the time for us to feel the adrenaline rush. Yes, the BIG presentation will be on tomorrow.

Never thought that doing research is this tough. True that we do it in a group but we were only given a month to complete this project. Really hope tomorrow will go on smoothly and we will be able to give good answers to any questions thrown at us. At first, I really doubted I will take up Degree in Nursing because it is A LOT of work and it is really not easy to complete the 2-year degree. But, at the end of the completion of our project, my mind changed. I still think it is quite possible to take up degree. But in nursing, experience is very important in advanced nursing studies. Women are capricious. LOL!

Things may not be promising at all times but at the end of the day, work still need to be completed. And when it is done, everyone will heave a sigh of relief. I'm also quite relieved that I received my new shirt for presentation in time. I'm such a klutz. I actually left it at my boyfriend's place as we were in a rush to leave -_-'''

Luckily I got it in time.

OK. Enough about the boring stuffs about work. I had lots of fun last week when I went back to Johor for CNY. Though the first few days before CNY were quite boring but I enjoyed myself. OK, will stop crapping already and let the pics speak for itself. Here it goes:

my last minute CNY shopping

SEED bag (original price rm69.90)...got it for just rm20.70! STEAL!

dining at Paddington's...love the pancakes...they do flip it right!

my cousin's cute 3 1/2 mth old baby gal who weighs a whopping 7 kg!! just look at how chubby she is...

camwhoring at Melaka...

first day of CNY...

Haih! Bad connection. Will load part II next time. Bye...

P/S: Next week I will be posted at the Accident & Emergency Department (A & E)...hope I will learn a lot there..

The joy of being in a nursing college

2008-02-01T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yup. It is indeed a joy to be in one. The idea of doing a newly learnt procedure on a fellow friend sounds kinda scary. But, we don't have a choice. We have to do it in order to really learn and master the skill of how to do the procedure.

Today, my partner and I took each other's blood. As we are in Semester 6 (the last semester of my 3 years course) and we learn the subject on Emergency and Disaster Nursing, we have to learn how to take blood and insert a cannula (that's the thingy that is inserted into someone's vein to give fluids and you will see either a drip going into someone's body or the needle will just be there for treatment purposes). Erm, hope I am not making you feel like you wanna sleep with those medical jargons. Anyway, so we pricked each other. And I succeeded!!! I manage to obtain my partner's blood. Of course you feel the excitement for the success but the moment you yourself kena poked, it is not a laughing matter. For the faint-hearted and cannot tahan a little pain kinda person, this will be the scary part as you have to endure the pain of a needle going into you. I consider myself as quite strong and not that pain-fear kinda person but I tell you, I really pray to God when the needle goes into me and told myself to stay strong and this is just part and parcel of learning. I poke you, you poke me. Fair right?

not for the faint-hearted...

I still remember during my first year when we learnt how to do bed bath or more commonly known as "sponging" for medical personnels. My teacher wanted a real model to be naked for the procedure!!! Luckily enough, she relented and approved of a girl wearing a swimsuit for the procedure to be done on her. My thought at that time was, what if there is a lesbian among the 59 of us gals. Won't she be very "untung"? My goodness, I can't imagine what is one that lesbian's mind when we are doing the demo on my poor swimsuit-clad friend. LOL! Apparently, I know of one gal who is a bi in my group. Yes, it is true. She admitted it herself.

Moving on to something straight (pun intended), I feel it's a fun experience so far and I enjoy my life as a student nurse here. Even when not everyday is a bed of roses and rainy days fall on me, but I still cross my fingers and hope for the best. I believe determination will get me through the next 5 months. Counting down....

Hang On, Be Strong

2008-01-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Those words are what I have been telling myself in the course of this whirlwind 3 weeks. I can't wait to end this semester as it is full of ups and downs. The downs really get to me badly. The bickering and emotions in a turmoil goes on - but I am still hanging on, staying strong. Life goes on. No setbacks can tear me apart. That is what I told myself.

Eunice used to say that I am a person with strong personality and nothing, virtually, technically, realistically will get me down. I thought I am what she said too. But am I still? I wish I still am.

Because I need to hang on. Because I am a strong woman. Because life is not about giving in to some minor setbacks. Because life is worth living and I should make the best out of mine. I know what I want. I am a go-getter or in other words, "kiasu, kiasi". Nothing will ever get me down.

How many times have I repeated the same phrase? I lost count. I just want myself to get back on my own two feet again and be the once-strong, affirmative. I just need to get through this hurdle and the next 6 months will be OK once again. At least for a while.

Now, dear me, hang on, be strong. You can overcome this.

P/S: My junior asked me whether I get enough rest or not. She commented that I look tired. Which in other words, awful. Sigh!

5 Classes I Would Take To Improve My Life

2008-01-08T18:12:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Eunice the Chicky Chick...lol

Really didn't realize you tagged me until yesterday...what a dumbo...lol...well well, connection is crappy as usual hence the late post yeah?

1. Temper Control Class (if it exist, and if it's free)

I believe those who know me well will agree with me if I attend this class because I have a really short "fuse" which means I blow up really fast. But at the same time, my temper also dissipates fast and before you know it, I have already forgotten about why I blew up in the first place. Yeah, yeah I know I'm weird, but hey, I'm just human OK? And humans make mistakes. And not to worry, I don't blow up at my patients THAT fast OK? It really depends on what the issue is about in the first place. If it's something which is against my principle and what I don't like, you will surely see my "Justice Bao" face. LOL!

2. Learning French

I have always loved how French speaks and I think it's really sexy to be able to speak in French. For those who have watched the movie "Shooter" and watched the very sexy Monica Bellucci speaking in French (even though when she speaks French in the movie, most of it are angry words) you will know what I mean.

3. Swimming Classes

Oh, now you got me. I can't swim or float at all for goodness' sake! If I ever drown, I urge you to PLEASE SAVE ME! And I know you will save me darling because when you were asked by me regarding the scenario of the "save me or your mum", you mentioned that you will save me because your mum knows how to swim -_-

I'm such a loser, I know.

4. Driving Class

I know it's weird for a 20-year-old to not know how to operate a car but please don't ask me why I didn't go for driving lessons when I was in Form 5. It's a long story and it's not a very pleasant story, for your information. Anyway, I kinda enjoy being driven around because nothing beats having your own "Ah Mat". Hehehe...

5. Yoga + Pilates Classes

Have always wanted to join one but never got around to doing that simply because:-

No money
Lazy
Did I mention I have no money already?

But, once I start working already and have some spare cash, I will definitely take up this to stay slim. I don't wanna be a fat girl ever again. I was once one but rejoice! I'm now not fat (I don't wanna use the word thin because there will always be thinner girls around. I'd prefer to use the word S-L-I-M. Hehe...

Now, people, you have been tagged.

* Darling Kenny
* Kwang Ying
* Hui Wen

New Year...Last Year

2008-01-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

My last semester of my 3 years course started this Monday. Funny how most colleges and school started their lesson on the 2nd of January but my "one of a kind" college had lessons on 31st of December, holiday for 1st January and resumed classes on the 2nd January. That's one of the many things I hate about my college. People always have lots of brickbats at their own college, school or universities but holds high esteem for other schools. That's something quite common among people, I must say, whether you are a student or are in the working field. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Anyway, back to my semester. First day of class already and we received verbal advice from our teachers. An example of what she said goes like this,

"If you are the type who always ask your boyfriend to wait outside 4pm sharp, you better think twice and ask your boyfriend to forget about the idea. How can you be out when your group members are having a discussion on assignments and projects? This is your last year and don't think we are torturing you or making your life tough. Every group experience the same thing."

Phew! First day already make us scared and shocked. Really have no idea what the next 7 weeks are going to be like for us. Hopefully I don't lose my sanity.

And we thought the last year will be quite a breeze for us because we don't have much subjects to cover but man, I tell you, the subjects are the most boring of all. I begin to think twice already whether I should take up degree or not. We are given assignments almost every other day and the due date is so close together. Topics like "Critical Thinking" and reading the articles on it makes me want to doze off to dreamland and goodness knows what the articles is talking about. Luckily our group assignment is not rejected. Hopefully the coming assignments doesn't require me to fuse my grey matter so much that grey becomes white or vice versa. Personally I prefer to do assignments based on facts and science, less on the abstract.

One of my teachers mention that nurses are lucky because we learn management. We learn how to apply management skills in our work as well as in life. Hope it helps to manage my sanity too.

Thoughts...

2008-01-04T13:17:00.000+08:00

I seem to be suffering from insomnia these few days. No wonder my friend told me that my dark eye circles are more prominent now. I thought she was just joking. But it was otherwise.

I am generally a thinker. I think about everyday things. I think about the past. I think about the future. I think about things that make my mind boggle and make me think more and more. In short, my mind never sleeps. Only when I sleep, technically, literally. That is when I don’t have a dream.

I have been told before that I think too much and quite unnecessarily. But I find that it is not easy for me to change in a matter of days for something that has been my norm for so many years. I realized that I’m a “thinker” since I was in primary school. I am now 20 years old. Hmm, how long have I been a “thinker”? Quite long, I guess.

There was this patient I took care of in the ward I’m working in now. She had just undergone IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and suffers from quite bad medical condition such as ascites (fluid accumulation in the stomach region, medically called peritoneum). But at the same time she also suffers from dehydration because of the IVF. To make things worse, her husband is not the caring type, not one who stays by her side at all time throughout her predicament. My heart really goes out to her.

This got my mind working again. What if I cannot conceive normally in the future when I plan to have a child? Will me and my future husband afford to pay for an IVF which costs roughly RM 25 K? Will my husband stand by me through thick and thin? Will I even get married in the future? The list goes on and on.

It really baffles me to what humans do. Those who yearn to have babies pay so much for one but those who do not want babies find ways and means to abort them. This world is really unbecoming. Sometimes I wonder why God doesn’t create and give everyone the same – fair and square. But this got me thinking, everyone is indeed same, in the eyes of God. It is up to the individual’s angle of view – his or her perspective of life that decides how he or she wants to lead his or her life.

Now that is some food for thought.

Down With The Sickness

2007-12-13T16:34:00.000+08:00

Life has been pretty "suay" for me lately as I have been falling sick quite easily. Just a few weeks ago I suffered from UTI and just yesterday I had tonsilitis (inflammation of the tonsils). It's no wonder why I have such bad sore throat for days and fever. Got pricked for a blood test as the doctor suspect I may be having dengue fever because she saw I have rashes on my body. Luckily it's not. I don't want to be admitted because of a mozzie. LOL!

I wonder how my liver and kidneys are doing now because of the detoxification process they have to go through as I am on drugs in such a short hiatus. I also have to start on iron pills as soon as possible because of low haemoglobin count. Sigh! Drugs, supplements and all. I pity myself at times. But there are people who are worse off. My problem is nothing compared to them.

Speaking of which, I came across a patient who happens to be an ex-army officer. His name is real cool with a "Major" at the end. What I find amusing about him is how he reacts every time I checked his blood pressure. He was admitted because of hypertension with stress. Heard from the staff nurse that he has two wives and maybe that's the cause of his stress since he is a retiree now. Anyway, that's not my concern and my job is to check his blood pressure and let him know the reading after I checked him. So he always will have this "why-is-my-blood pressure-still-so-high-even-after-treatment-kinda expression" and will sigh away. LOL!

Was at Midvalley on 11th December and it happened to be a public holiday. Man! It was so packed and so hard to walk around. I went there, main objective is to get a farewell present for our teacher who is leaving us soon. But when I got the present already, the sickening class representative said the gift I bought is not suitable for the occasion. Even when I was already feeling unwell I went ahead and go out to do my task, she don't appreciate what I have done and won't listen to my opinion. Some people are just too stuck-up and think they are the ones with the best opinions. Dare to tell me some more that she is in this department where she is busy and can't get away with work, whereas I am doing shift work. She has PUBLIC HOLIDAY on that day for goodness' sake and I was on MORNING SHIFT. Feel cheated somehow. Shouldn't be too kind next time. People take advantage on this kinda people like me.

But all in all, I am grateful for what I have. Can't wait for Christmas Eve partying which is coming very soon.

P/S: I am feeling much better after a good night's rest (damn the gang of baboons who make so much noise when I was trying to sleep last night but luckily I manage to fall asleep somehow) and of course with darling's love and care. Muacks! I love you dear....

Raging (that's what you like to call it eh?)

2007-12-10T11:36:00.000+08:00

Hmm....

It's 2 in the morning. In fact I just wake up from my sleep a few hours earlier. I don't really know why. Maybe because I feel too warm or woke up from a bad dream, which I always forget as soon as my eyes are open. Seeing I'm quite energetic and my eyes are wide-open now, I thought I'll just type this out since connection is down during weekends.

Yesterday has been quite a bad day for me. Daniel Powter's song "Bad Day" is playing on my mind as I'm thinking what to type out for this post. Firstly, I was visited by "big aunt" a.k.a "da yi ma" this early morning and I wondered why my stomach was so in pain. Guess that explains why because it's that time of the month.

So I went out with darling. I was kinda reluctant to go out as I had cramps and it's quite uncomfortable to be walking around in a big mall. The thought of a gynae's word came upon me suddenly because he mentioned something about period pain and it is actually abnormal. But he didn't explain why :S I wish I asked him at that moment but I didn't. Hmm...I wonder why. Back to the topic, so we went out. To Pavilion again this time round. We watched a movie after walking around for a while. "The Golden Compass" is not bad IMHO. But it sure does look like there will be another installment of that movie. I just love the polar bear or "ice bear" like what they call in the movie for goodness knows what reason. Maybe because it's white and big. Or maybe because it is brave and it fights. All in all, I just know I love the bear. LOL!

As usual, I have mood swings and darling suffered because of it. Sigh! Guess I better take EPO to regulate my hormones. Does EPO really help? I have asked around before and I got mixed comments. Hmm, maybe someone can offer me better suggestions? After movie, we headed for dinner even though we had a late lunch at around 2pm. I think I know why I put on weight already. LOL! I've been wanting to try this char koay teow where they use this "don't know what" leaves to wrap it but in the case of this stall, they don't wrap their char koay teow rather they dish them out on it. I have to say that it was a total disappointment. I have tried numerous char koay teow and this one definitely does not make the cut. One, it is not hot when served. Two, it has no taste. Three, it just sucks! I'm so fumed and as expected I didn't even finish quarter of the plate. I so wanted to go up to the stall owner and tell them to feed the char koay teow to dogs and I doubt the dogs will even eat it. Someone keep asking me to "let it go" so I didn't do or say anything. How I wish I'm a famous food blogger so I can blacklist that stall. OK! Back to reality, I am not a food blogger and I am not famous. How I wish I know Kenny Sia or Xiaxue so they can help me blacklist the stall. But, my dear friends, I urge you guys and gals NOT TO EAT AT THIS STALL IN PAVILION FOOD COURT, which is called, err, I don't know the name of that stall. Can't be bothered to anyways because I won't be going there anytime soon. First and the last visit of that stall.

I barely touched this...

Totally wasted my $$$

After the bad dinner, we headed home in monorail. There's this black fella and his shameless slutty girlfriend who came in after 1 or 2 stations after us. It was quite packed and understandable when people cannot balance and has no place to stand. But this black fella has to bump his butt with mine. KNNCB! I feel like slapping his damn face but I didn't of course. Irritate me some more when it's not my day. So after a few stations, the train is quite spacious already but I don't understand why this black fella and his fugly girlfriend must keep banging unto us time and again. Very annoying and irritating OK? Darling changed places to stand with me and knocked them back. Damn that fella. Benci betul. Some more bend his head close to mine till it touched my hair. Hello SOB, I don't want to get kutu OK? Irritating-nyer. Breathe me, breathe...LOL!

When we reached KL Sentral already, we bought our respective journey tickets and darling sent me off to take LRT before he headed off to take his KTM. While I am in the train, I didn't get a place to sit down. No freaking place for me to sit when I always get a seat. My life is so sad! LOL! So there's this Indian fella or dunno-what race guy who stood behind me. OMG! He stinks. Some more he's holding on to the pole with his two hands raised. I almost fainted. Please just use deodorant or just bathe you stinking roach! I really don't understand why some people do not use deodorant or bathe for example the Nepalese Service Master or cleaners in my hospital and college who seriously smell like a dead rat. I feel like just giving them a bar of soap from my hospital and ask them to go bathe. I mean, don't they get paid or something. Got money to buy handphone but no money to buy deodorant? Someone please enlighten me. LOL!

There was this two bitches who were sitting in front of me and bitch No.1 looked down at my feet and eye-signalled to bitch No. 2. Bitch No. 2 said "Biasalah..." with a freaking lansi face.

I'm like "Woi, apa biasa biasa har? Aku suka lah warna apa nail polish aku nak pakai. Hot pink favourite aku tak boleh ke? Ini kaki aku OK? Nak mengumpat, jangan obvious sangat. Belasah baru tau." in my heart of course.

I'm now meditating after typing this. I need balance of my yin and yang. Please excuse me.

P/S : On a not so angry note, I saw a Singaporean actor, Tang Yu Shu at Pavilion on Saturday. He's quite cute. Hehe...

Last Night...Soon...

2007-12-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

Tonight is the last day of my night duty. Quite happy and can't wait for it to end because I'm so looking forward to the 4 days of I have with my darling. The past few weeks I watched almost all the nice movies showing in cinemas. My favourite has got to be "The Kingdom". I love Jennifer Garner. She's so pretty. Other notable movies are such as Enchanted and Beowulf. I love the chipmunk. It's so cute. Beowulf is quite nice too. But a bit illogical. LOL! Hitman is not that nice. Even though the main character is so handsome, Timothy Olyphant.

I have found my favourite boutique to shop at - Forever 21 in Pavilion KL. It is so much bigger than the outlet they have in 1 Utama. And did I mention it has more varieties in Forever 21 Pavilion KL too. I definitely will go there and splurge again. What's more, J.Co Donuts has made me go ga-ga over their soft and fluffy donuts. I am so in love with Forever 21 and J.Co Donuts. Darling is the one who suffers because I always pester him to go to Pavilion and queue for the donuts and shop at Forever 21. But hey, it's not so bad k. U get to eat donuts after all.

Gotta go now. Can't wait for my weekend. Adios!

Argh!!!

2007-12-04T16:34:00.001+08:00

WARNING : This entry may contain sarcastic and anger-filled comments. Read with caution.

*Please do not conclude that I need anger management therapy. I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL. Just that things get on my nerves at times but so far I took it pretty well.

Yesterday marks my second day of night duty. All I can conclude is that the staff nurses who are on with me are pretty "hardworking". Dah lah not helping with me and my junior's work but have the cheek to ask me to do their work. Malas betul. Geram aku. Some more, they are supposed to bring food for us student nurses but they didn't. For two nights straight already. Kedekut giler. Hope their butts get stucked in the toilet bowl when they poo. LOL! Really PK betul. And, I don't understand why some people are so "ill" until willing to be admitted to the Deluxe room just for a simple diarrhoea and dehydration. Diarrhoea only 3 times and vomit 3 times only mah. Deluxe room? They must be out of their minds. I had diarrhoea for up to 10 times or more but never got admitted also. Sigh! I really don't understand anything anymore.

For the whole night yesterday, a particular infusion pump machine really got on my nerves. It was making sound all night long even when I did everything I could to silence it, in other words, interventions so that the "air in line" alarm will not be on. This machine is certainly "ding dong". Buat aku geram aje. Argh! Some more I can't make so much noise or turn on the lights because this small boy will wake up and create another not-needed ruckus. So I have to work my way in the dark with a little night light on. I really wanted to throw the machine on the floor and smashed it to smithereens. But on second thought, it is in the middle of the night plus my allowance is so minuscule I have to resort to "selling smile" to get more money. Nah, that is a joke. Lucky for me I got my Dad a.k.a ATM. I know it's lame. Hey, just layan a bit lah. I am not in the best of mood ok?

Two nights before, Betty, one of my patients who I mentioned about in the previous post fell down. What happened was this - she was in the washroom, where she saw this leaf (daun lah, bodoh) under the sink. So when she was done, she bend down to pick up the damn leaf and fell and knocked her head against the door. Poor her. As if that is not bad enough, the turban-wearing doctor came and see her after the incident ordered for hourly observation. It is night time, for goodness' sake. True to my guess, Betty didn't sleep at all the whole night. I really pity her. So much for rescuing the leaf but the stupid leaf got her into so much problem. She was so angry with this particular doctor that she told me that she wanna skin him alive and called him "a very naughty man". LOL! Anger is in everyone.

Hopefully tonight will be a better night. But I enjoy working nonetheless. This junior who is on with me is not that bad. Funny. LOL!

P/S: I am typing this with a clear and calm mind so please pardon me if I hurt anyone.

The name is Betty

2007-11-29T18:40:00.000+08:00

I remember watching a movie called "Kung Pow Enter The Fist" which is really stupid and a dumb-ass retarded movie. But please don't ask me why I watched that movie 3 times. Up till today I can still remember the scenes in the movie vividly namely the cow doing the Matrix thingy, Ling's weeping sound, the guy with pineapple tarts-resembling nipples, and last but not least who can forget Betty (he's a guy, fyi. I know, WTFish?)

Anyway, the title of my post refers to a patient in my hospital who happens to be English. I just love listening to her conversation with her husband and daughter. So British. So good. So full of envy just by listening when I went into the room to check her blood pressure or update her chart. How I wish I could speak like her. Next time if my kids grow up I'm gonna make sure they learn English the Brits do. So they can speak like them. Make them listen to British conversations, watch British shows, news, documentaries, cartoons, comedies, etc etc. They must follow British English. MUST!

This also reminds me of they days when I sat for my piano exams. The examiners are British and I find myself enthralled listening to how they speak and ask me questions. Even when I apologized and asked for a couple of times for repetitions. And that doesn't keep me from being so enchanted by them. *dreaming away*

OK, now I'm sounding a little too obsessed with British peeps. But I just love how they talk even though sometimes I am dumbfounded as to what they mean when they speak. LOL! It's true. I'm sure that happens to many and you find yourself asking the other party to repeat what they were saying. I dare you to say no. And don't you dare. LOL! I'm such a control freak.

In other occasions, not about British this time, Daphne Iking has given birth to a baby girl in Assunta Hospital. I didn't know that she was in the same building as me until today when my senior told me so. I so wanna visit her and see her cute baby girl but reality check, I'm just a nobody. Maybe those working there also do not have a chance to go into her room what more me. Bermimpi banyak-banyak. LOL!

OMG!!!

2007-11-29T17:12:00.000+08:00

I'm such a lazy girl. Has been neglecting my blog for a while. Anyway, I just cleaned the cobwebs on this blog and it is alive again. LOL!

It has been more than a month since I last updated. Feel a tad guilty but procrastination overpowers my guilt. LOL! To those who may click on my blog or not, I appreciate you peeps for giving my this dying-but-not-dying blog support. I will try to blog as often as I can. Guess my ex-teacher was right about me on this - "san fen zhong re du" (direct translation means 3 minute hotness but it doesn't make any sense lah hor? Haha...Well it literally, English-ly means someone who is only interested in something for a short moment. That short moment of excitement but it just doesn't lasts. I will try to prove her wrong and show that I'm not "hangat-hangat tahi ayam".

So, what has been going on in this at times emotionaly-challenged girl? I started my posting (training in the clinical area - wards, etc) this week. Was kinda looking forward to working night shift just a week before Christmas and I even happily requested for the duty but too bad a particular assistant nurse has to have something going on so I pulak kena ganti her duties. That person is me because my name comes first in the roster. Quite disappointed but I expected it a little because in this field, nothing is certain. I have seen it with my own eyes here. People can just go off anytime. That is why I always make it a must to say "I love you" to my beloved and you guys should know who lah. OK, to avoid turning the readers into snowmen and snow-women I will stop being so mushy. But I love you, darling dearie...Muacks!

Today at work was quite fun but boring also. I guess I'm too used to work in a busy environment. There's this particular ward in my hospital where at the mention of that ward's name, student nurses will shudder and think "I don't ever want to go there again!". Because it is so damn busy and the amount of work is never-ending. Something must be wrong somewhere but no one seems to know what it is. But, it is a good experience nonetheless because one gets to train her work capability according to how fast you work. There was this patient who keep pressing the callbell and asking the nurse to attend to him over very trivial matters namely "my drip has this bubble". And this make me wanna tell him this :

For goodness' sake, the small bubbles won't kill you OK? You are just too free and has nothing to do to actually scrutinize your drip tubing. Please. Get. A. Life.

I just hate this kinda "boh liao" people. Makes me wanna cekik them. To think that I saw that his jug of water is almost empty so I refill the water for him only to get this kinda remark. He told a junior about this :

Did you refill my jug? The water is too cold. Not nice. I want half hot, half cold.

I'm like WTF...So much for being kind to do a little something extra. Can't be bothered with this kinda people.

Enough talk about annoying people. I'm gonna talk about this cute old granny. She s 91 years old and today she has been discharged from our hospital. I miss her. She is just so cute. A particular staff said that she look like a "bird". LOL! Too bad I do not have a camera to take her pics if not will let you guys judge how cute she looks like. Ah poh.....I miss you much much....LOL!

long time no blog

2007-10-23T17:56:00.000+08:00

Wow...It's been a long time since I last posted an update here. Think I'll not go into details of why I didn't post anything these past few weeks and just write what I have to write. Someone has been asking me why I never update my blog one...So, this is for him...*winks* Muacks! Love you...

In unchronological (does that word exist? err, never mind lah hor? understood right?) order:

Today was a day full of shocks. Thought my heart stopped beating for a while. Reason being something happened to my darling. I think I need CPR more than you already lah. Haha! Make sure you take really good care of yourself ok? I can't be around you all the time when this kinda thing happens. Anyway, I got myself a new haircut. Will post up some pics soon. Yeah, I chopped off my long locks and the end result is this not so long-not so short hairstyle...Don't really know how to describe this hairstyle of mine anyway, so you guys judge for me ok? So far I've got quite a few comments from friends and my first comment from my darling of course. He said I look nice. Haha! Luckily...Before I went for the chop, I keep asking him whether I should really cut my hair or not. Again and again. I think he's kinda sian already because I keep asking. Sorry lah darling. That's me. I'm very loh-soh one...Like granny only hor? At last I went for it anyway and I really have this to say - I'm quite happy with the end result. Been wanting to get a shorter hairstyle but is kinda afraid if I'll look nice or not with it. After all, I've had long hair for quite some time already. Used to it already. Now I'm adjusting just fine with my new style. Call me a chameleon or whatever you like but I just love to change my hairstyle. I get bored with just one style. For this year alone I think I changed my hairstyle for like a few times already - from straight golden brown straight hair to curls to purple hair to straight faded-purple, brownish red to now. Phew, in my past life I must have been a chameleon. LOL!

That aside, I watched quite a number of movies these past weeks. Some notable ones are "The Bourne Ultimatum" and "Resident Evil". "Invasion" is not bad too, heard about the disease ADEM (Acute Disseminated Encephalo-Myelitis) in the ward I worked before previously. This girl who was admitted with a simple diagnosis of Viral Fever with dehydration turns out to have ADEM. She was already semi-conscious and not responsive to calls so was sent to HDU (High Dependency Unit). Apparently her story goes like this. A 20 year old girl, she was feeling stressful and depressed because of exams, studies and relationship problem (she just broke up with her boyfriend during her exam period). She smokes casually and lives with friends. The day I saw her, she couldn't respond to calls and opens her eyes to pain only, which is not a very good sign. She was put on tube-feeding. We have to do thorough nursing care for her – bed bath and turning to prevent her from having pressure sores and foot drop. It is really a sad case of a young girl who could do so much but ended up this way.

I really can't think of anything to write already because I think it has been too long already since I last updated. Maybe when I think of something I'll write k?

P/S : Click 5 is heading our way this November! Check out Galaxie's blog for details on his performance here. I can't wait to see them…OMG…Meeting with Kyle Patrick face-to-face…He's so damn cute…

Shopping Spree...(Or Not)

2007-10-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

Felt kinda bad that I was not able to post anything for more than a week. Well, reason being, bad connection and I actually ran out of ideas on what to write as I'm trying to make my blog more eventful for others to see. Guess I have to post something less emo and more interesting other than just for me and him to see. LOL!

My weekends were really great. Went for a movie, "White Noise: The Light 2" and all I can conclude is it's damn *B.o.R.i.N.g*. I went to the Gardens at Midvalley on Friday and guess what? The shops there are not for normal human beings like us. It is a high-end shopping mall and I don't think I can afford to get stuffs there. I think it is more for foreigners who come to Malaysia to shop. Certainly not for us students who get less than 1K per month.

On Saturday, we went to Bukit Bintang - Sg. Wang, Pavilion KL (which is also newly-opened). We suspect that Pavilion and Gardens are both under the same company or construction or whatever you call that. Both the malls' design and decor are almost the same except for the colour. Maybe someone can confirm that statement. Anyway, Pavilion is not bad but I was kinda disappointed because Forever 21 is not opened yet :( Was actually looking forward to it because for those who know this, the only Forever 21 store in Malaysia is in 1 Utama. Going to 1 Utama is not as convenient for me compared to going to Midvalley or KLCC. Really hope it opens soon. Pavilion also houses outlets such as Juicy Couture (visit here for more details if you are wondering what that is). Not that I'm a brand-conscious gal but I'm just keeping up with the going-ons as usual. I love shopping and I know my limits. Though sometimes I really wish I can have endless amount of money to shop and eat and have everything luxurious I wanted but, get real - dreams only come true if you work hard and be true to yourself and God.

Back to the topic on my Saturday. I didn't buy anything much except for two pairs of shoes from Nose. There was a sale going on so what I got was REALLY a STEAL. So happy for myself. We walked till our legs nearly break (actually I can still go on walking and shopping if I have a platinum card. LOL!). Don't we all wish we do?

My Sunday were spent at Times Square. Up till here, I remembered something really coincidental which happened everytime we are out together. I always happen to bump into my juniors or seniors or staffs from the college and hospital when I'm out with darling. KL is such a small place. LOL! Back to Sunday, again, I didn't get anything much except for a purple top, denim skirt and a couple of ear-rings. Wanted to get a bag but being the same old fussy me, I didn't see any that caught my eye. Maybe next time. I know some people will want to scold me already and say ,"Hey, haven't you got enough bags?"

After that, we headed home and have a very relaxing weekend as usual. I admit I laugh too easily but it's just me. LOL! I laugh uncontrollably and too loud. Maybe someone wanna control me....Anyone?

Next week, I'll be starting studies again. Actually we'll be having exams for the first 3 days and schooling for one day. Then I'll have holidays for almost a week for Raya. Can't wait for my holidays...That's all for now...

P/S : Just have this to say for backstabbers - God had eyes to see who has done wrong and who has done right stuffs. I may be a spendthrift but I know my limits. If you are so unhappy with me, you should tell me RIGHT IN MY FACE and not do unGodly things. I can forgive and forget, why can't you do the same? I really don't understand people anymore. Is blood really thicker than water?

Short Stay...

2007-09-24T17:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went out of state for a few hours only just so that I can be with my darling. It was fun though. Even when time flies always when I'm with him. Think my posts are becoming more and more emo already. LOL! What to do? I'm just a woman in love. Crazy in love.

I just love this pic although we look jaundiced in it. LOL!

The day started early for me as I was involved in some voluntary work for a charity mobile clinic in Kuala Kubu Bharu which is near Rawang. It's my first time there too but little did I know that the short 4 hours I was volunteering there got me so much of rewards - goodie bag and mooncakes. This year I didn't even have a single piece of mooncake but I actually got it through volunteer work. But hey, don't get me wrong lah, I volunteer not because can get goodie bag and mooncakes. It's because I get exposure to the different things there such as traditional chinese medicine and the different things which I don't get to see much before. As usual, I got sabotaged by my "loving and caring friends" who were concerned about me when I asked the Chinese sinseh about what kinda treatment is given for patients with anaemia (low red blood cell count). He, as a sinseh, is concerned of course and enquire who needs that treatment and yours truly got the pointing fingers shown by them. I was aloof of course and said "Er, no lah. I'm interested to know what kinda treatment mah. Not me of course." U gals just watch out. I'll get you some other time.

After the volunteer work, I head down to Nilai to meet my darling. The train journey is so loooooongggg and slloooooowwwww. Luckily didn't fell asleep because it was my first time there and I can't imagine what will happen of me if I miss the stop. LOL! When I finally reach, there's an "ah pek" standing there waiting for me. LOL! Just kidding, honey. You are the cutest and "yan dao". Just putting that up because you are so damn funny and I don't find you an "ah pek" at all. LOL!

As usual, we didn't finish whatever we were watching other than those in the cinemas for goodness knows what reason. But we did have fun that day. From the time before I head home and until the time I reach my hostel, honey got insulted by his so-called "drateR" friend all the way. Poor boy boy...Wish I can help you drop a few bombs on him also. LOL! Maybe when I find out more about him and I'm sure I can think of a few ways to get back at him too. Man, I sound so evil. LOL! Well, I was given the nickname "Evil-yn" before not just for fun, you know. So, don't even try to mess with me if you wanna continue living in this world. Hahaha!

OK, folks, that's all for now.

the weekend.

2007-09-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

At last I can connect to my blog already. It has been quite some time since I last updated my blog. So much happened during these few days. Last weekend was a blast! We didn't go ice-skating due to some unforeseen circumstances but hey, there's always some other time right darling? Last Friday, we watched "Knocked Up" where the very sexy Katherine Heigl got into a one-night stand with this ugly and fat Seth Rogen who also happen to be a pot-smoking jobless loser...Lucky guy eh? This movie is really nice except that I can't really get the jokes in there sometimes but it's entertaining though. I just love watching Katherine Heigl cos she's just so HOT!!! OK, I'm sounding like a lesbian already. But hey, she really is HOT right?

After that movie, we went for another crap horror show which is so damn boring. I laughed in most of the scenes even though I can imagine the producers giving this message - "THIS IS A KOREAN GHOST MOVIE. BE SCARED, BE VERY SCARED BY THE SADAKO-LOOKALIKE". But I wasn't scared at all and nearly fell asleep during the show if not for him beside me. LOL! We headed home after the movie in his car where his parents were here. I gave the wrong directions for goodness-knows what reason and we ended up going dunno where until I really feel like burying my head into the road or whatever. So embarassing. Luckily his parents were OK about it. My room mate didn't make me feel better and instead say "Man, this is embarassing. Wow, what an impression!" when I told her about what happened on the way back to college. Damn!

Saturday came and we met up in KL Sentral. After having our breakfast at McDonald's, we went for karaoke. Didn't sing much that day because feel kinda tired and not really in the mood too. But it was fun just having you around me. We headed home after lunch and watched a DVD - "Hostel". Not that nice I must say because I expected a lot of gore and scary details in it. Then came the party. It was a blast like I said earlier. Had lotsa fun with him and I don't think I'll ever forget this day. Thanks darling for this special day!!! Love you...

On Sunday, we had breakfast together with his family. After that, we just stayed home and watched some DVDs. A very relaxing and laid-back day for us because both of us didn't feel like going out and be packed like a can of sardines in some mall. I had a great weekend, nevertheless. Really enjoy time with you and can't wait for Friday to come. Miss you so so much...

note: just helpin my baby post this up since her connection is bad :)

Cute Little Gal

2007-09-12T10:51:00.001+08:00

Got this cute little gal's pic from my ex-piano teacher (cos I'm no longer learning piano and sadly, I have returned everything back to her). LOL! Anyway, enjoy this cute little gal's pic...There's more to come...My niece is really cute too...Hehe...

To Skate Or Not To

2007-09-12T09:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went for a hair cut which took me more than one hour. Nothing much to be expected anyway, just a trim. I'm not adventurous enough for any change yet because I think my precious mane needs some rest. I've been torturing it too much with all the colouring, rebonding, perming...

The guy who did my hair is kinda soft-spoken and should I say "lemah-lembut" type. Really can't bear to wait so long for my hair cut to be done. Almost fell asleep during the process. Not really a process lah, when I do treatment for my hair also not as long as this. You see, I went in at 2 pm and came out of the salon at 4 pm+. Yeah, I know it's long and I really just had a haircut. Which got me thinking, if this guy is to work in a place where a lot of customers come in, I'm sure he'll get the scolding from his boss for fiddling with people's hair like it's made of glass. There is just not enough time for that. But I don't blame him lah. Maybe he's nervous or whatever.

After that, I passed by the skating place. Got me thinking over and over again on whether I should really go ice-skating, err,(maybe I should say) ice-slipping this Saturday. LOL! So I asked him,

"Really wanna go ice-skating this Saturday huh?"

Then he said something which really touched my heart which goes like this,

"I'll try my best to make sure you don't fall ok?"

(Awwws....)

You see, the last I went ice-skating, I mean, ice-slipping, I decided there and then that it will be my first and last. Goodness knows how many times I fell and just seeing those little kiddos skating away makes me go green with envy. Really wish I can skate like them. Must be such a nice feeling to be able to ice-skate. Anyway, I'll be going this Saturday and hopefully I can skate a little and not just fall down. LOL! Even if I fall down and I can ice-skate also I don't mind, really. Because I think having the experience of knowing how to ice-skate is priceless...

For those who are reading this, please pray hard for me and wish me luck ok? My fingers are crossed...

Say OK, Said Yes

2007-09-11T06:45:00.000+08:00

Last night I had the best sleep ever...Ironically, I should be too excited and happy until I can't sleep but I just did. It was the night I decided to be with someone again - in other words, I'm no longer mono a.k.a single.

Hmm...I'm really not good at putting all this in words. All kinds of emotions were inside me - happy, excited, exhilarating, joyous, embarrassed, etc. Luckily I'm quite good in dealing with this when I was in my room last night because I can divert thoughts and attentions pretty well. LOL! But it wasn't an act yesterday when I said yes ok?

Actually I was kinda waiting for you to ask that question to me. And yes, what you guessed is right. I may get bored because I hate weak-hearted guys and I dig guys who are courageous. Yes, you are one. Courageous, I mean. I did think about what I should do if one day you asked me this question and I have all these weird, ambiguous solutions to it but it all boils down to one thing - I want a relationship with you too. And, don't worry too much for being lame. I'm happy enough that you plucked up the courage and asked me the question.

Really looking forward to spending more time with you...Just want you to know that I'll always be beside you no matter what you do and hope the same goes with you too...

Baa Baa Black Sheep

2007-09-08T14:34:00.000+08:00

Watched "Black Sheep" the other day with my friend. Actually I'm not too keen to watch it because I saw the trailer and it just make me wanna laugh, not scared. LOL! It reminds me of the part in "Evan Almightly" where Evan is in the car driving and suddenly he turned around and screamed, "Sheep!!!" in replacement of "shit". LOL!

"Black Sheep" is about sheeps being genetically modified so they can multiply in quantity for its profit and things go haywire when one of the specimens to be disposed of lands into the hand of some poor, pitiful but serves-you-right environmentalist who later turns out to be genetically mutated too - becoming a were-sheep.

What I must say about the movie is that it's more funny than scary. Really...The part where they have all the gory stuffs about innards of the sheep, blood and all doesn't petrify me. I'm quite OK with it. But what really made me sick is the fact that they use man's sperm in order to multiply the sheeps. Which comes from the man behind the farm itself. Euww...Disgusting...

There's even a scene where the guy says, "Have me again, babies" to the sheeps and one of the sheep bit his appendage...That is the most sickening thing I have ever seen.

That said, I think it was quite worthwhile because the lead actor, Henry in the movie, and the female named Experience in the movie is kinda funny and entertaining. The lead actor for being handsome and cute (he's afraid of sheeps, they call it odinophobia) and Experience for being er, experienced with chakra and stuffs. You'll know what I mean when you watch it yourself.

For those of you who would like to be entertained with some gore and sickening, immoral bits, "Black Sheep "is showing in cinemas...

Old But Alert

2007-09-08T13:25:00.000+08:00

Last night was one of my funniest night ever...An old lady who we thought is confused turns out to be how should I say, alert and very rational.

First, she keep pressing the call bell say she wants to wipe her face and gargle her mouth. So I told her it is now 1.30 am and told her to not think so much and go to bed. Not long after, she press the call bell again. This time asking for her clothes to be changed and bed sheet and everything. I told her we will do it tomorrow morning only and now she needs to sleep. She doesn't seem to understand and is very stubborn. We even hid her call bell under her pillow, put back in the slot so she can't find it but she still did! Amazing old lady...LOL! At around 2.30 am, we gave in to her and changed everything for her - clothes, bed sheet and even put powder for her so she smells nice. During that time, we chatted for quite a bit and she told me in Hokkien and Malay,

"I'm the type who's very pantang dengan kotor. Vomit lah, berak lah and kencing. I tak boleh tidur macam itu.Eh, moi, letak sikit powder kat muka."

So I put some powder on her face and also her buttocks. Now she smell nice already. One of the staffnurse asked her, "Ah poh, cucu adakah?"

The old lady answered, "Cicik pun sudah ada arh...."

What really make me laugh until like mad is when the staffnurse asked this, "Ada available punya kah?"

The old lady answered, "Ada tapi semua kecik-kecik lagi. Yang besar semua perempuan."

LOL!

We laughed so loud until the patient next bed complained saying, "Misi, mau tidur lah. Bising-bising tak boleh tidur."

Really cannot control my laughter even till now I'm blogging about this incident. LOL!

Around 4 am, another old woman started her wayang. She keep shouting and calling us, asking for water. She had a stroke and has Dementia (nyanyuk) and cannot be given anything through mouth because we are afraid that she may choke. But she keep pestering us to give her some water, saying she's thirsty and this and that. So, in the end I gave her some water. Not satisfied
with that, she keep shouting and kicking the bed, shaking the side rails like it's going to be broken anytime soon. The shouting got so bad when she shouted, "Ya Allah, TOLONG, TOLONG!"

We don't know who's coming to "tolong" her when she has nothing wrong and is fine. This old woman is certainly not alert at all compared to the first Chinese old woman. Tonight I'm going to put up with all the ruckus again. Please give me strength to do so. LOL!

NOTE: The granny I blog about yesterday has been given a stronger sedation, this time an anti-psychotic drug. She slept really well last night and didn't make noise. Good job there, doc for ordering this drug for her. Somehow, I hope the Malay granny will be given a stronger sedation. The sleeping pill she's on certainly has no effect on her...

1st Night

2007-09-07T08:12:00.000+08:00

Back from work (on night duty yesterday) but I can't sleep. Yeah, it really sucks. Because I drank coffee at 3 am. Those who know me will be aware that coffee really has an effect on me. Usually I drink coffee at around 12 midnight but as yesterday night was kinda busy and I was so blur during my first night (didn't have enough sleep and still new to the ward). That's what makes me functioning less. Really hate that kinda me. I expect 99% if not 100% from work and want only the best. Hopefully tonight I won't be so blur...

Last night was really full of funny incidents. There's a patient who can't sleep even after sedation given to her (yes, she was given a sleeping pill) and she went "kacau-ing" the other patients -.-"'
It got so bad that the other patients keep complaining to me. One of them is pregnant and she really needs rest even to the extent that she wants to transfer to a double-bedded room. The staffnurse-in-charge thus decided to move the old sleepless and hyperactive granny to the counter. But at the counter she's still the same and refuses to sleep. Keeps saying want to have dinner at home. It was 4 am in the morning -.-"'

Then came the endless call bells. There's this particular patient who keeps pressing the call bell and asking for a bath at 2.30 am. I told her time and again that 7 am we will bring her to take bath but she just don't understand and keep calling us. Old people...Sigh!

Hope tonight won't be that bad and I will be more alert and functioning again. LOL! I really need some sleep now to work tonight...Nitez...

Opposites Attract

2007-09-06T13:45:00.000+08:00

Really didn't think that you would put the ice cream as your theme...I love ice cream too...So, let's have them again when they have discount on 31st k? Not even cough or flu can keep me away from ice cream. LOL!

Erm, wanted to ask you whether you've heard about the phrase "opposites attract" before but didn't got around doing so. Just dunno why. Well, looking at your cbox, I think you have and yeah...That's what I'm going to talk about now. The topic "Opposites Attract".

I remember in secondary school my friends used to tease me about having the likes for this guy but we are totally different in terms of personality and we can't get along for goodness' sake. Every single day we will be "bombing" each other and talk very sarcastically. Those were the days...Immaturity... LOL!

It may seem like we have 1001 differences. What I don't like is in you. What you don't like is in me. Well ironically, we seem to hit it off quite well. Luckily you got yourself a Digi number if not both of us are really going to declare bankruptcy very soon. LOL!

But they always say that opposites attracts. I am not sure how but somehow they really do. One friend said from enemies to friends, then from friends to lovers. LOL! That's what they say but I really have no idea why or to what extent that is true. Who knows? Only God...

My 4 Days In PSY a.k.a Psychiatric Ward

2007-09-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

Day 1

We were waiting for the door to be opened outside the Female Ward when we saw a woman standing near the glass door asking us this,

"Excuse me, miss. You got bring your handphone or not?"

My friends from the previous batch warn us about this female patient who will go around asking the same question to everyone, in particularly asking to borrow our handphones so that she can call her family members to fetch her back.

So, we just replied, "Sorry, we are working now, cannot bring handphone one."

Man, let me say that she is really very annoying and irritating. Every doctors who come into the ward, she'll follow them around and ask when she can be discharged. Well, not anytime soon i guess because her condition is not getting any better. She refused to take her medicine and is a disturbance to all.

During briefing, there's a patient who came close to us looking at our hair. I was wondering what's so nice about out caps and I asked my friend what she's looking at. She stood beside my friend and asked her whether she can take out her hair clips or not. Then only I know she's interested in the colourful hair clips. LOL!!! Luckily mine's plain old black hair pins. Not those colourful types.

Next, we went over to the Male Ward for orientation to the department. As we were walking into the ward, we heard the patients saying,

"Hi sayang...Leng lui.."

I can feel goosebumps on my skin and was so scared that I walked faster and closer to my friends, holding their hands, praying in my heart and saying,

Me: Wei Ling, I'm very scared.
WL: Me too. Come let's walk faster.

Then the lecture of the year started again. Nenek dara tua talked non-stop in front of all the male patients, oblivious to our fear and insecurity in the Male Ward. I am so relieved and glad that I'm placed in the Female Ward and not the Male Ward. I can see the patients gawking at us and keep smiling and laughing to themselves.Some were even dancing around trying to catch our attention. LOL!!!

Day 2

As usual, we arrived outside the Female Ward waiting for someone to open the door and let us in. The same annoying patient who keep asking us to lend her our handphone is there to welcome us again. Also, one female patient who's a smoker and very rude and loves to snatch people's food is there as well. I really don't like her as she's dirty, rude, a bully, doesn't listen to commands and advise. OK, enough about her. LOL!!!

Today I was also assigned to the clinic. What I did there is mostly being a translator for the patients and doctor. LOL..

Most of the patients that come for appointment are not psychotic but neurotic. Some are because of anxiety, stress.

There's a patient who becomes psychotic because her husband has a second wife. Guys...Can't you all stay faithful and be monogamous? Another patient is there because he's on the verge of getting a divorce and he mentions that his children and wife doesn't communicate at home. I think that's really sad. I mean, they were married for so long already and this happens now. If they work things out by talking and be very honest, maybe they will have a chance at
salvaging their marriage. Hmm, I'm not married myself so I'm really clueless about these...Those are just some of tough things in life.

After that, I am back in the ward. There's this patient who is schizophrenic and is kinda stubborn. She hid herself in the bathroom, in her wet clothes and faeces stain on her legs, refusing to come out even after the staffnurse talked to her nicely, asking her to change into dry clothes. When the patient still refuses to move, another staffnurse and assistant nurse came in and talked to the patient. This time, they started to scold her already. The assistant nurse
then hit her head and back. I can feel it's a very forceful whack. Really pity the patient. Luckily, I'm working in a private hospital, not a government one.

Day 3

The day started as the other two days before. Today I was assigned to the Occupational Therapy. This is where the patients who are discharged go to learn and do things such divertional therapy (as they have hallucinations, this helps to divert their attention to the voices or things seen and heard by them). Man, this is one boring area. I mean, there's only 4 patients there and they were doing their own work like sewing, doing crossword puzzle. I felt like escaping from there as soon as I can. What we learnt in class is like there's so much of activities to be done there. Really bored!!!

Day 4

Today's the last day already. Felt kinda sad because we are leaving there and not coming back already. From what I observed during my 4 days there, I must conclude that it is really a challenging field to be in and it's certainly very interesting to learn about each and every cases that come.

Date...(s)

2007-09-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

Just went on a date with a friend whom I know recently. All of a sudden, what my friend told me came to mind, "Hey, how long have you known this guy?"

I replied, "Less than a month."

Then she said, "Wow, less than a month and you are quite daring to go out and meet him huh?"

Well, let's just put it this way, I feel something different when I'm about to meet him. Can I say that I actually told my best friend about this date and she told me to call her if anything happens. Apparently, she wants me to meet up with this guy friend of hers who I have met before. She just felt that this guy is really suitable for me as he's a Christian, tall, metrosexual, sensitive and caring. Quite a nice catch but it's hard to say because I haven't really got to know him really well.

Back to the topic, so I went on a date with him. I told him I'm a very talkative girl but I dunno what's wrong with me that day. I was kinda quiet and tried my best to be myself but...Maybe I am shy. Darn! Hate myself. Anyway, if you are reading this, you'll get to know me more when we go out more often k? Seriously, if I told my friends you say I'm quiet, they won't believe me and will just laugh it off. I'm the type of gal who yaks non-stop about all kinds of things. Yeah, believe it or not.

So, we had lunch together at Kim Gary and watched two movies (yeah, two movies!). It was fun although we exchanged quite few words that day. I can't really explain why but I enjoyed my time with him.

One week later, we went on another date. This time we went for karaoke. I can't really sing well because I was having cough and flu (in fact I still do now). But on that day, I sung my heart out with him. It was kinda enjoyable. Again, we didn't talk much but what's really ironic is that we seem to have endless to talk about in smses. How about this - 40 smses per day? And, I'm not even tired of replying and typing the text messages.

All in all, I had fun altogether and I really look forward to more dates with you...

Mono Again

2007-08-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

I really didn't want to put down the word "single" as the title so I opted for "mono" because somehow, I feel it is really a desperate attempt in getting a date/ guy. LOL! Yeah, I'm single once again. After been through two failed relationships, I'm certainly right on track and raring to go again. I'm NORMAL again!!! So, rejoice...

The loneliness and void feeling which creeps in me every night is now ceasing and I'm getting more peaceful and dreamless sleep. Speaking of dream, I really hate them as everytime I wake up from one, I can't help but get headaches and keep thinking about my dream. Just like what I had last week when I napped where I dreamed my two room-mates talking bad about me right in my face and had the hideous laughter as if like those of a hyena. I can't help but wonder will that really happen. I just hate this feeling. So I told my room-mates about my dream and they can only laugh. My room-mate said usually this kinda dream means the opposite in real life. Now, I'm relieved.

Back to the topic, I had the chance to get to know a few guys but as a very picky and choosy "user", I only will take into account those who fits the criteria. LOL! I really am a very picky huh? What to do, this is me. Actually I'm kinda loose with the criteria already. I still remember last time before I even have a bf I have a long list of requirements I like in a guy and another long list of things I hate in a guy. But now, I'm more mature and I've learned to lower down my expectations to something more practical and realistic.

Actually being single is not a bad thing after all. I get more me-time, can hang out with whoever I wanted and do whatever I like. There are really less restrictions and things-not-do now. But it also means I don't have someone who'll be there for me anytime I need one, I don't have a male version of "Aunt Agony", I have to pay for my own shoppings now (not that I've been using his money all along but plus-minus the phone bill, bus tickets to Singapore and expensive gifts I get for him, it's much more worth it now).

Nevertheless, I'm enjoying myself more now and is kinda happier lah....LOL!

A Beautiful Mind

2007-08-25T18:09:00.000+08:00

Remember the movie starring Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly in which Russell Crowe portrays a real life schizophrenic Nobel Prize winner, Sir John Nash? As we were going to have our lectures on Mental Health, our tutor wanted us to watch this movie to gain a better understanding on the disease taught and to pinpoint out the signs and symptoms showed by the character.

In my humble opinion, I feel this movie is really good except for the part when ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) is being done on Nash. It is really nothing like what our tutor taught us. I mean, in the movie, they show Nash being strapped on the bed and given something like insulin before the procedure is started. The next thing I know is he's shaking like mad - like those of a fit or seizure attack. Whereas from what we learned, the patient on REAL ECT will not shake like that and actually the electricity being conducted to the patient is really mild and the patient is NOT GIVEN any insulin pre-procedure. LOL!

That aside, the signs and symptoms shown by Nash are really those of what we learnt - hallucination, delusion and more. I really can't forget the part where he has the hallucination and delusion of being involved in the national project where a "secret code" is being implanted into his arm. In the mental hospital, he wanted to destroy the "secret code" in his arm by digging into his arm until blood is oozing and what's ironic is he doesn't seem to show he's in pain!!! My goodness! He is really ill mentally!

So why am I talking about all these now? It is because I'll be going on a journey of a real-life John Nash counterparts adventure in a Psychiatric Hospital (GH) on Monday. I'll be there for a week there but sadly, Friday is a public holiday so in short, we are only there for 4 days. Sigh!! I was kinda disappointed but really hope the 4 days will broaden my knowledge field and I will benefit from it.

Feedbacks from my friends who went for the posting there this week were mixed. Some were saying it's scary, some said it's really sad to see them like that, some commented they were being "molested", some even received love letters. LOL!! Though it may sound really scary, I am actually quite looking forward to this posting as I wanna learn more and really observe the patients there. So, please pray hard for me that nothing will happen to me there and I will come back in one piece...

Fools For Love

2007-08-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

I shall quote something my Moral Studies lecturer said in class,

"No matter how clever and smart or intelligent a girl is, she'll still be a fool when falling in love."

I can't help but agree with him even though what he said in class I disagree 90% of the time. He's just a boring, stingy fellow who's still single. LOL!! OK, let's move on to the topic I'm writing about.

Let's put it this way, in the scenario of a guy and a girl in love:

Guy

what's running through his mind -
sex, kissing, French kissing, football, games, cars, money, porn, hot chicks....

Girl

what's going through her mind -
how to make him be with me for the rest of our life, how to tie him down, I'll do anything I can to make him love me forever even if it means sacrificing my life...

That's the difference between a guy and a girl. A girl will go all out for the man she loves even to the extent of sacrificing everything. Be it a straight A's high flyer or a smarty pants babe...Guess we are just fools for love...When will guys really take us seriously?

Downs in Life

2007-08-18T16:21:00.000+08:00

Things haven't been going right for me recently...Reasons being:
1. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years +.
2. I did my very best in an assignment but was told to redo it as a particular stupid-old bulldog face-menopausal nearing woman said I didn't put in effort in doing the case study.
3. I received negative remarks from some insensitive-obnoxious-poor upbringing women (again) regarding my performance in the wards where i slogged my guts out in.
4. I had my exam last week but I'm not sure whether I will do well or not as so much is running through my mind that I can't focus when I'm studying. God bless me...
5. I got so desperate and lonely and did weird things to get a guy's attention which is so not very myself...

Actually there's more to what I'm sad about but I really don't want to be reminded of it...Especially the first one...We shared so much together but I don't know why things turn out this way. We had so much plans together, so much of similarities together. In short we were so in love with each other. But I said enough is enough. He sms me the same old thing about how I failed in this relationship - how much he has done for me and how little I did for him. So I told him I want a break-up and we ended it right there.

Facts About Girls and Guys

2007-08-05T18:27:00.001+08:00

Girl Facts

When a girl is angry, don't ask her what's wrong. Think of the answer yourself. A girl does not like to say the reason.

When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile.

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand.

When she wants a hug she will just stand there.

When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later.

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. (!!!)

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. (I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that.

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up, she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're one forever.

Guy Facts

When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you.

When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong.

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes, he means it.

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do.

When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world.

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love.

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you til your done.

When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else.

The Path

2007-08-05T16:43:00.000+08:00

I'm a girl who is studying to be a nurse, currently in second year, which means I have less than a year to graduate, as it is a 3 years course. Life as a student nurse here really changed my whole perspective on what a nurse is really like. Before I came here, I have never given nursing as a profession much thought at all. I mean, who would have thought that nursing is not only about cleaning the humble faecal matter of other human beings and jabbing people in the butts every chance we have or even be in touch with blood every milisecond of our life? Certainly not what I intend to do for the whole of my life. But that changed as I grow every minute I am here like seeds carefully sown hoping that one day, it will be a beautiful, strong tree and able to withstand harsh weather for survival. I am indeed glad to be here and has since not look back on my life thinking "Maybe I really should not be here and chosen another path. This is so not me."

When my application for this course was successful and I was about to come here soon, my mother who hoped for me to be a teacher like her said to me, "Are you sure you really want to be a nurse? You have to clean people's backside and be on night duty. Are you sure you can take it?" My reply was I am good about it and really do not mind to take up a journey where I am about to discover another side of me unraveled. I am a girl who has always given myself surprises and like challenges as I think life is about getting up from a fall and showing to myself and others at how much I can achieve through effort and faith.

What is life without determination? It means nothing and all you get is just a futile life, waiting for God-knows-what to fall on you. I believe in choosing a journey where I may not know the outcome and consequences as to what will befall me but i trod on. I feel life is more meaningful and the joy i get for serving and nursing patients, making them feel better and more comfortable. Sickness and old age is inevitable. It is up to the individual and loved ones surrounding us to overcome the harsh facts of life and move on.

So what I have been doing as a routine in the wards where i went for training every now and then may bore normal people but i enjoy every moment of it though not always. Who haven't? Life is certainly looking bright and the learning journey is endless. All I can say is nursing changed me and I hope it changed yours too.